Welcome to Picard Week!
As you all know, we’ve expanded the children’s Picard Day celebration into an entire week leading up to the grand event on 72920.6, due to its smashing popularity and the fact that so many of you told us you wanted to be involved. We’re excited to announce this year’s Picard Week festivities— see below for an agenda of events, and ask the computer for more information.
Feelings Retreat with Counselor Troi
Monday, 1800, Holodeck 2
When you’re on a starship far away from home, it can be hard to process the myriad feelings that come with the call of duty, or even civilian life among the stars. Take a break and get in touch with your sensitive side in this peaceful holodeck cabin designed by Counselor Troi. Experience trust-building exercises like falling off a cliff into the arms of your loved ones, delve into your deepest emotions — literally — by dipping your hands into an alien mood gel that changes color based on your feelings, and end the day relaxing in one of the famous mud baths from the Parallax Colony from Shiralea VI.
Wine Tasting and Saddle Oiling
Tuesday, 1500, Observation Room
Get a taste for the olden days and enjoy some of the best wine Earth has to offer at this wine tasting/saddle oiling. First, take your palate far beyond synthehol as Captain Picard leads you through a tasting featuring wine from the Picard family vineyard in La Barre, France. The captain will explain how his family grows and harvests grapes using a traditional, non-robotic method and lead participants through the history of farming in France. Immediately following, join the captain in a traditional saddle oiling (all serious wine drinkers/riders have their own saddle).
Commander Riker’s Afterparty
Tuesday, 0200, Ten Forward
Join Commander Riker after the third shift for a night you won’t forget, featuring music, Risian party games, and lots of surprises. Spend time socializing with senior officers and dance the night away with the DJ stylings of Commander Data, who has been studying both the traditional and modern methods of “spinning.” End the night with a Champagne toast and sunrise simulation in Holodeck 3.
Kids' Hallway Bowling
Wednesday, 1200, Forward section of Deck 8
Gather your kids and join us on Deck 8 for this fun event that’s back by popular demand. We’ll be turning the hallway into a bowling alley complete with giant inflatable pins that children can knock down with a beach ball. Players will win fun prizes like synthetic candy, custom holodeck programs, and even a visit to the bridge. (Please note: Due to concerns about fairness raised in past years, only actual children will be able to compete this year. No adult competitors, even if they appear to be children due to a transporter accident. Thank you for understanding.)
Wednesday beginning at 0800, Ten Forward
As many of you know, one of the conditions set for the expansion of Picard Day into Picard Week was to spotlight other members of the crew besides our intrepid captain. After the success of last year’s Riker Day, this year we’re celebrating Lt. Worf through a day of activities. Start with a traditional Klingon breakfast in Ten Forward, then join Worf in Holodeck 3 where he’ll teach you the basics of working with a beginner’s Bat'leth. Finally, help him get those amazing waves in his hair (that’s not a perm!) with a Klingon hair-braiding ritual. Each participant will get their own section of Worf’s hair to braid, and one lucky participant chosen by Worf as having best exhibited the characteristics of a warrior will receive his own lock of Worf’s hair.
(Ready) Escape Room
Thursday, 1000, Captain’s Ready Room
We’ve turned the captain’s Ready Room into an Escape Room! Pretend you’re a member of the bridge crew having a tense standoff with Romulans in this team-building exercise that will have you seeing the perils of leadership in a whole new way. Solve puzzles designed by Commander LaForge and the engineering team, including aiming and firing pretend photon torpedoes and “match the isolinear chips,” all while the clock ticks down during an imaginary Red Alert scenario. Can you beat the Romulans in a battle of wits and make it back onto the bridge? Winners receive a new PADD pre-loaded with Captain Picard’s favorite programs!
Make your Own Picard with Lt. Barclay
Thursday, 1500, Holodeck 3
Have you ever dreamed of having your very own Captain Picard? Now you can! Learn more about holo-design in this interactive program that will have you creating a Picard who always has time to talk. Through his many hours in the Enterprise’s holodecks, Lt. Barclay has learned the ins and outs of Picard design. Interact with his holo-creations Traditional Picard, Three Musketeers Picard, and his newest design, the Terrifying Arachnoid Picard. Discuss the ethics of designing a preexisting person in the holodeck, then jump in and make your own version of Picard using Barclay’s ready-made templates.
The V Neck: A Retrospective and Workshop
Thursday, 1600 hours, Holodeck 2
It’s not just Counselor Troi who loves V-necks. Get the captain in casual wear and you’re bound to see some chest hair! In this retrospective and workshop, join a holographic projection of Deep Space Nine tailor Elim Garek as you learn a history of the V-neck, explore the various V-neck options available on the Enterprise’s replicator menu, and even design and replicate your own V-neck for the next time you have shore leave. You’ll come away with a brand-new appreciation of plunging necklines, no matter what your gender or species.
Data’s Chili Cook-Off
Friday, 1200, Cargo Bay 2
Join your fellow crew members for a potluck lunch and see who on board the ship has the best chili recipe! From spicy gagh stew to the traditional Enterprise Chili created back in the days before starships came with food replicators, sample all the different types of chili made by those on board at this chili cook-off hosted by Commander Data (Warning: Do not sample Commander Data’s Chili unless you also don’t have taste buds). Replicate your favorite recipe along with cards letting everyone know what its name is in the computer. Captain Picard will choose the winner!
Guinan’s Secret Show
Saturday, 000, Meet in Ten Forward
We can’t tell you much about this secret show that takes place in an undisclosed location of the ship. What we CAN tell you is that when Guinan puts on a secret show (especially one that honors one of her best friends) it’s a once in a lifetime event — and we’re talking one of Guinan’s lifetimes. In addition to wearing water-and fire-proof clothing that you don’t mind getting dirty, Guinan asks that you bring the following items: sunglasses, a spare pair of socks, 4 glow sticks, a small helium tank, a grappling hook, and a fish (alive) of your choice. Limited to 23 participants — and we suggest you arrive at Ten Forward 18–24 hours in advance in order to get in line.
Jennifer Boudinot (she/her, @jenboudinot) is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Collider, The Belladonna Comedy, and Points in Case. She's also the co-author of the books Dangerous Cocktails and Viva Mezcal. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, and is a Kira with a hint of Dax.