Here’s the thing about the holiday season: I love the holiday season. There isn’t a tree I won’t trim, a menorah I won’t light, a heartwarming made-for-television movie I won’t DVR. And like the characters featured in many very special holiday presentations, I’m prone to holiday-themed fever dreams featuring a Winter-in-Wonderland-like cast of cartoon elves with self-esteem issues, talking mice in coordinated scarf/boot ensembles, and more triumphs of the human spirit than a Klingon can shake a bat’leth at. So in that spirit, and the spirit of the season, follow me down a wormhole as I transform from a mild-mannered author/fanboy into the Enterprise’s most festive elf.
For Uhura, who has been very good all year, I gift her this ring, which will sparkle perfectly in the bridge lights every time she reaches for her earpiece:
For Sulu, who knows that it’s important to keep hydrated, whether you’re in the gym practicing fencing or stuck on a freezing cold planet during an away mission, this water bottle:
Star Trek was ahead of its time when showcasing new and innovative technologies. Nobody knows more about that than Yeoman Rand, who was almost always carrying a device with which keep the Captain informed. For her, I present this tablet skin:
For Bones, this business card holder, so he can constantly remind people that he’s a doctor and not, well, anything else:
For Chekov, a shot glass to enjoy the various vodkas from his native country:
For Nurse Chapel, this sleek and elegant wallet, which can be used during the day but can easily transfer to evenings when she’s beaming down to a mysterious planet to meet up with her long-distance “friend” Dr. Korby:
For Spock, who knows it’s illogical to be late, a 2016 engagement calendar. Its executive-looking presentation makes it perfect for use on the bridge or any official appointment, and the Starfleet symbols throughout make it just geeky enough to put a smile on anyone’s face. Even a Vulcan.
And for Captain Kirk, who can be naughty, a bottle of cologne so he can boldly charm females in any quadrant:
And of course, every crewmember will get a copy of Fun with Kirk and Spock, because even though the season is all about giving, I’m an elf who understands the value of promotion!