As both a fund-raiser and a "mini-convention," Robert Beltran's Galaxy Ball 2000, held Saturday in Los Angeles, proved to be a big hit. Before a sold-out international crowd of fans, the stars of Star Trek: Voyager and Star Trek: The Next Generation showed off their extracurricular talents—singing, comedy, impressions—as well as their real-life personalities while raising tens of thousands for charity.

The third annual event, benefitting the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA), consisted of Q&A and autograph sessions with the actors, a variety of silent and live auctions of mostly Star Trek-related items, and a cocktail party followed by the actual ball itself, complete with dinner and dancing and special entertainment.

The official Robert Beltran website is reporting that approximately $40,000 was raised for the DSALA, which far exceeds last year's reported take of $13,000.

The day kicked off with a Next Generation theme, as the very well-dressed Jonathan Frakes and Michael Dorn bounced onto the stage and energetically greeted the audience by belting out a short rendition of "Volare." They reminisced about their time on the series and the movies, and poked fun at their fellow cast members, particularly "the bald guy," as Frakes affectionately called his captain. The actor-director recalled a time when the cast had to rock back and forth on the bridge to simulate the ship being under attack. "We're getting slaughtered by phaser fire outside the ship... and in the middle of it all I hear—" He went into his Patrick Stewart impersonation: "'Oh Jonathan... Oh Jonathan... Twenty-five years in the Royal Shakespeare Company for this!"

Dorn also couldn't resist quoting Stewart, as he described a time when a young actress came to do a guest spot on the show (whom he wouldn't identify). "She actually was not the best actress on the show, but a very lovely girl, and I said, 'Oh, Patrick, I really like this girl.' And he says, 'Oh, Michael, no.' I said, 'What?' He says..." — as Dorn mimics Stewart's British accent — "She may be beautiful, but her non-talent is monolithic."

They both bemoaned how quickly time has passed since they first took on the roles of Riker and Worf. Dorn commented, "More and more these days, more and more, reeeally cute actresses come up to you and they go, 'Hi, it's really nice to meet you! You know, my dad loves you! I remember when I was a little kid, it was on all the time!' Augh!"

When Beltran entered the room, Frakes and Dorn grilled him on why the audience was predominantly female. Beltran just shrugged innocently. Frakes remarked, "You know what really makes me mad about him? He's still got all his hair."

Beltran then took the stage, joined by fellow Voyager actors Robert Picardo, Robert Duncan McNeill and Garrett Wang. (At one point they referred to themselves as "Garrett and the Three Roberts.") The four guys had a lot of fun impersonating each other's characters and others in the cast. McNeill stood and said, "Here's Garrett back at his little station: 'Caaptainnnn — there's a ship coming in on sensors Caaptainnnn!'" Beltran did the Doctor, first by making a Picardo face, then by quoting the line, "Just remember Kes, anybody can stargaze on the bridge, but the real action will always be in Sickbay." Picardo responded by doing his impression of Beltran forgetting his lines: "Captain, there's a... Aw, ****, what is it? What is it?" Then it was Garrett's turn: He walked across the stage like Kate Mulgrew in "Bride of Chaotica!" and adopted a squeaky voice to say, "Chaotica, where are you? I am the Spider Queen." Wang, famous for impersonating the entire cast, also did his Tom Paris, Chakotay, the Doctor and Neelix, and even did an homage to Sulu.

One question from the audience was, what is the most absurd line you've had to deliver? Beltran: "Excuse me, Captain, I have to go speak to my dead father." McNeill: "Well, Mr. Tuvok, you're a real freakasaurus" (from "Future's End, Part II"). Picardo: "All the more reason why we should talk to the bomb!" ("Warhead"). Wang: "I don't care if she's a hologram, I love her!" (paraphrased from "Alter Ego").

After fielding more questions from the audience, the actors got down to the business of fund-raising. They began an auction for a rare "Voyager 2K" cap that was worn by cast members during the 1999-2000 season of the show. After some hearty competition, with a promise from the Voyager men that they would show their gratitude in a very physical way, a female fan won the hat with an astonishing $1700. The high bidder went up on stage and got an enthusiastic group hug from all four guys which ended up rolling on the floor.

Beltran later explained how he got involved with the DSALA. "When I was in England, I was invited to go meet with some Down Syndrome children, and I was talking to the people who run the hospital there, but they were having a hard time raising money," Beltran said. "So I checked around here in this country, and it's the same problem. So I thought I would help, do what I could, because my youngest sibling has Down Syndrome."

It was in the evening when the actual formal ball took place, with a $75-a-plate dinner and a show featuring the Voyager actors' "hidden talents." The entertainment kicked off with Tim Russ, probably the most seasoned musical performer of the group, who played several original and cover songs with his familiar backup band, Neil Norman and his Cosmic Orchestra (who accompanied all the performers that evening). Then McNeill took the stage to sing—in spite of suffering a bad cold that had him walking around all day with a tissue box—and put on an energetic show covering songs such as Steve Miller's "Fly Like an Eagle" and Elton John's "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me."

Then Ethan Phillips took the mike to provide the "comic relief," telling a series of jokes beginning with "Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy. That's the best one, now they start going downhill..." He couldn't get away, though, without poking some fun at his fellow actors. "My friend Bob Picardo over there — I'm not saying he's bald, but he's one of the few people you can see from outer space." (The band was on break, so there were no rimshots, unfortunately.)

Next, Roxann Dawson got up and began the portion of the evening devoted to Star Trek-themed song parodies. First she sang "Lion Tamer," a sweet, old-fashioned ballad about an insecure girl "not at all like B'Elanna," she said. But then she sang the song again, replacing "I'd like to be a Lion Tamer" with "I'd like to be B'Elanna Torres," and had other altered lyrics such as "I like the way she beats up aliens" and "If I could be B'Elanna Torres, I'd get Tom Paris too."

The parodies got more intense as Picardo took the stage. His "reflection on what it's like to be on a Star Trek show" was based on the old Tennessee Ernie Ford folk tune "Sixteen Tons." It began, "Well, sixteen hours and what do you get; another day of shooting on the Voyager set; St. Peter don't you call me, 'cause I can't go; I owe my soul to the Voyager show." He ended the song with a big flourish: "When St. Peter finally calls me, there's one thing I bet... He'll ask if he and Je-esus... He'll ask if he and Je-e-esus... He'll ask if he and Je-e-e-e-e-esus... can visit the set."

He got a big laugh from the audience by bringing out lifesize stand-up figures of Seven of Nine, Captain Janeway and B'Elanna Torres, and announced, "In the spirit of political incorrectness that characterizes any event that Robert Beltran is associated with, I thought I would sing my homage to the three women of Voyager." He then belted out the Tom Jones classic "What's New Pussycat" with new lyrics: "Pussycat, pussycat, you're called Seven, and I'm in heaven when you're around. Please let me doctor those implants and optic node..." To Janeway he crooned: "Pussycat, pussycat, you're demanding and so commanding with those four pips. Beat back that Borg attack and I'll rub your lovely back..." And to Torres: "Pussycat, pussycat, you're half-Klingon, I love that thing-on your forehead dear..."

With that tough act to follow, Beltran himself then got up to sing and drew the crowd onto the dance floor with romantic ballads including Elton John's "Your Song." With the room now fully in the dancing spirit, all seven of the Voyager stars in attendance got up on stage and participated in a lively Tim Russ-led rendition of "Love the One You're With" by Stephen Stills.

But the evening was far from over—there were more items to auction off while the energy was high and the wallets were open. For a tour of the set of Voyager at Paramount Pictures, the bidding went higher and higher until it finally sold for a jaw-dropping $9000. Other items, such as a computer-woven Voyager blanket that was a Christmas present to the cast, brought in several hundred more dollars. For the coup de grace, Dawson auctioned off the Galaxy Ball shirts that the six Voyager men had been wearing all day and promised to autograph. Six bidders—all women, of course—added about another $9000 to the coffers to claim those unlaundered articles of clothing.

The rest of the evening was devoted to dancing and mingling, with Salsa music provided by Beltran's brother, Louie Cruz Beltran, and his orchestra.

Story by Sandy Stone
Photos by Sandy Stone and C. Monson