K'Plett is a Delegate-at-Large for the Klingon Empire, formerly stationed at the Klingon Embassy on Earth. The views and opinions expressed by K'Plett are in no way reflective of those of the Federation or Starfleet.

Salutations, Humans!

There seems to be confusion and consternation amongst several of you about how Klingons go about spelling things. A certain reader (who happens to have Human heritage, I might add) has chastised me on my spelling of Klingon terms. This highlights a certain cultural bias which I would like to gently point out, as I do not believe it originates from a place of malice, but from a general lack of perspective.

Even on Earth, there are multiple alphabets, and many words and phrases do not easily translate. Simply viewing a sampling of recent new publications, I have seen several spellings of the name of a political figure from the Libya, whose name has been spelled Ghadaffi, Gaddafi, Qaddafi, Qadhafi, Kaddafi, etc. The difference in the spellings stems from translations being done phonetically.

It is much the same with the Klingon language. There are some generally accepted spellings such as Qo'noS for my homeworld, but even that is scoffed at by some Klingon linguists as a distortion from the original Klingon alphabet.

Understanding that there are multiple ways of being correct is a cornerstone to cultural coexistence. I would hope that anyone who has written to me chastising other readers for wishing me success by writing Q'apla, Kapla, Qeplah or Keplah, I would hope that there would be a level of understanding that it is most important to communicate an idea than to define one way of translating a foreign tongue.

But enough of this. I shall now confront your questions.

Honoured Kplett,
I thank you for your timely reply to my letter. I have come across a proverb of an early earth culture that you may find interesting. "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." I like this one, mainly because it is from a culture I am descended from.

Now, on to my more pressing matter. In your understanding, what is the difference between the Klingon understanding of Honor and the understanding of the same concept of my people, humans? I consider myself an honorable man by human standards, but I wish to see if I am honorable by Klingon standards.
Honor to you and your House.
Lt. Neil N. USS Ragnarok

Dear Lt. Neil N.,
After having seen many humans dance on your music video channels, I would hesitate to give them swords. But as for your question of honor, for Klingons, honor is something that we speak of regularly, as a reminder of how to govern our own behavior, every day. It seems to me that humans only speak of honor when conflicts arise.

I do not say this as an insult, but merely as a statement of my experience. We Klingons are very aware of the honor we have been raised to uphold and adhere to, and almost every action we take, we consider whether it is honorable or not, and whether or not our ancestors and the highest paragons of Klingons (for example Kahless) would approve. Some have told me that we think about honor too much, and that slows us down. Like you Humans, our concepts have evolved over time, for example, there was a time when, if one became incapacitated through injury and was incapable of functioning as a total individual, Klingon honor would have dictated self-destruction. There are still Klingons who practice this, but not all do anymore. I am certain that there are many Human traditions that have evolved as well, but ultimately, honor is acting in ways that do not bring shame to yourself and your House (or loved ones), values that the best of both our races share.

K'Plett,
I'm not sure if this is correct venue, but I wanted to ask someone about the flood of Chinese/Asian Star Trek DVD collections that have popped up on line recently. Are they authorized? Do the REAL Star Trek folks get royalties from them or are they some sort of pirate copies?
Thanks,
Ken R.

Dear Ken R.,
Pirates?! There is no honor in piracy. Ultimately, you get what you pay for, as I understand that the quality of most pirated goods is far below acceptable standards. I am unfamiliar with these "DVD collections" you speak of, but I believe that unless you are purchasing products from authorized sources, you can be relatively certain that you are subsidizing the wrong people. If you feel that the appropriate parties should get what you call "royalties," you should avoid cheap knockoffs.

Dear K'Plett,
I must say I am another person concerned about your health. Though I am not familiar with Klingon anatomy, I get the feeling from the tone of your replies, that your life has become less active. It seems that the vim and vigor has gone out of style. Please feel free to start criticizing and dispensing Klingon wisdom, because this is what we (your faithful readers) want.
A Lonely Cargo Ship Captain.

Dear Lonely Cargo Ship Captain,
Less active? What do you mean, less active? I work long hours lifting heavy objects and occasionally spend hours on end rigid like a statue holding the Klingon standard high during official events. Yes, my life is often somewhat sedentary and I am not as "athletic" as younger warriors, but not everyone is interested in sprinting. If called upon, I would be a lethal foe in combat, have no doubt about it! While I still enjoy bacon regularly, I have stopped eating several plates of it daily.

That said, you are correct in your underlying assumption that healthy living requires one to remain in some sort of decent physical shape. Long and happy life requires a healthy outlook, and when one falls into a dangerous cycle of inactivity, it takes a bit of work to return to better shape, but it's worth it.

K'Plah!
It is so honorable of you to enlighten us humans with your Klingon knowledge. First of all, is "Klingon" a human term or native? What does Qo'noS mean? Does the name stand for something? What is the deal with Klingons and tribbles? How do Klingons rate the great Starfleet captains (Pike, Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Sisko, Archer, Sulu)? It is always a good day for bacon!
-Trekker222

Dear Trekker222,
You ask a great many questions, I shall answer them in order. "Klingon" is both a human and Klingon word, it means the same thing in both languages. Qo'noS is the Klingon homeworld, where my people originated. Does "Earth" stand for anything? The deal with Klingons and tribbles is simple, we hate each other, we won and they lost. We do not rate Starfleet captains all the same, in fact there is just as much debate about the captains amongst us as you. And it is always a good day for bacon.

Salutations K'plett!
i need you to solve a two quarrels for me...
first my sister says that she saw a Vulcan with blue eyes and blond hair. i said she was wrong because from what i know of Vulcans do NOT have blue eyes and blond hair - they have black or brown eyes/hair.....who is right?
second do Vulcans have a lot of emotion when they are young?(when they are children or teens)
thank you for your time,
winni g.

Dear Winni G.,
Although I am not an expert on Vulcans, I have personally never met a Vulcan with blonde hair and blue eyes, but that only means I haven't seen them, not that they do not exist. It might have been the offspring of a human and Vulcan, or even a Romulan, as was the case with the treacherous Sela. As for how Vulcans are as children, I have no idea. From what I understand, all Vulcans do indeed have emotions just like the rest of us, only they train themselves through meditation to suppress these emotions, so I would have to assume that in their youth, most Vulcans are learning the process and would be more emotional than their adult counterparts.

Dear K'Plett,
Klingons sure do have bad teeth. Don't you all know how to brush and floss?
BingoBingo

Dear BingoBingo,
You assume that just because my people don't have the same kind of teeth that your people do that it means wedon't take pride in our teeth or are not concerned with proper hygiene. This is not true. If a Klingonhad the flat, white, straight teeth that Humans seem to cherish, they would be ridiculed. Our teeth are not only useful for tearing and chewing food, but we also consider them to be weapons. Should the need arise, a Klingon warrior might be called upon to rip and mangle an opponent and sharp, irregular teeth are fine weapons for inflicting maximum carnage upon an adversary. It also frightens other races immensely, which we find vastly humorous.

If you wish to ask K'Plett a question or need some advice on how to lead honorable lives, you can write him a letter by clicking here. Letters are subject to editing.

[Due to his reassignment, K'Plett is no longer accepting your correspondence.]