Kate is a freelance writer who offers her advice on a wide range of subjects drawn from her own Trek life experiences. The views and opinions expressed by Kate are hers and hers alone... and trust us, she has opinions! Click here to send your question to Kate.

Hey Everyone!

I hope life has been treating you all well ... or at least getting a little better every day. So, while reading through the e-mails that you guys have sent, I have noticed that love and companionship are very popular topics, and I can't help but wonder if it's because it's a human trait — er, umm, a trait of a sentient being (I have a very diverse audience, apparently!) — or if all these letters have more to do with the changes of the seasons and the arrival of spring and a link back to our animal roots. Although, I do realize that while it's spring in one part of the world it's winter somewhere else, so, hm, maybe I should rethink that ... maybe instead of these desires being driven by the atmosphere and the tilt of the Earth, perhaps it's because of our intelligence that we seek another mind to share thoughts with? Yeah, makes sense! It's one of those things that makes us uniquely human ... er, umm, sentient. How else would we play poker — or dom-jot or whatever you play — without another person? Or maybe it's something as simple as, talking to ourselves makes other people look at us funny... Oh well, just some things I've been pondering since I've started receiving your letters.

Oh yes, letters! Let's look through the pile... hmmm... Ah! Here's a good one! Oh, and another, and another...

Dear Kate
I need your advice. I am head-over-heels in love with a gorgeous Klingon woman but, she hates me. All she wants to do is cut my throat. (She has beaten me up 4 times already - it was wonderful!) How do I get this lovely Klingon creature to fall in love with me?

Dear Being who forgot to sign their letter,
I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like your Klingon love doesn't actually hate you. I mean, I'm no expert in Klingon culture, but from what you're telling me it sounds like it could very well be part of some mating ritual. Why not try doing something romantic — you could always give her a bottle of blood wine ... but keep in mind that you're basically giving her a glass weapon... No! Better yet, give her some prune juice in a plastic bottle. And maybe try growling back at her.

Dear Kate
There is a star trek con coming to my neighborhood and I don't know what star trek character I will dress up as. Can you help me?
From Zachary.
P.S. Live long and prosper.

Hey Zachary... ummm, I think the answer you seek is in your own e-mail. You added the P.S. "Live long and prosper" so wouldn't the logical choice for your costume be a Vulcan? Hehe... logical.

Dear Kate,
Can I believe my eyes? A new STAR TREK columnist who is not only Human, but such a Human -- one worthy to be added to the ever-growing list of incredibly beautiful and talented STAR TREK Humanoid females. Welcome to our humble little corner of the Internet (or should I say of the Galaxy?).

I have one question for now, the same question that must trouble many others. What on Earth do you see in Carl? I mean, he's just the kind of red-shirted fellow that inspires traveling Ferengi businessmen to make up Human jokes:

Q: How many Humans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He inserts the light bulb into the socket, then waits for the rest of the Universe to revolve around him.

Looking forward to seeing your column develop,
Johanan R.
Federation Archivist, Memory Alpha

Dear Mr. R.,
Thanks for your kind words! I see that you are a Federation Archivist, so I am a bit distressed that by profession you are a person who is dedicated to the preservation of not only the Federation's history but also its culture and values, and yet you make comments that show you do not quite understand what the Federation stands for. Even though my knowledge of Trek and the Federation is limited, I still know that it is all about acceptance and understanding ... all of which is Carl. Okay, so sometimes he gets a little carried away with all of the warp-whose-its and dilith-a-thingies, but that's also part of what makes Carl...Carl! Besides, if I can "get my geek on" about fashion and such, then it's cool for others to "get their geek on" about Trek or whatever the case may be. You should hear some of those sports people... and those workout people... and those pet people...

Dear Kate,
In the beginning of a new relationship, when is the best time to tell someone you are a Trekker? I have begun right from the start, which has not always met with success. Any advice?
Trekking alone in Maine

Dear Trekking alone in Maine,
Yeah, I completely understand. Well, first things first — you have to be happy with yourself! No person is worth sacrificing your own happiness. And it is unfair to you, to your potential partner and to the forming relationship to withhold any truths that could or will play a factor in any aspect of things to come. Am I saying the first words out of your mouth should be "Hi, my name is Kate (you of course would use your own name, duh), I am a Trek fan and I like to dress up in costume"? No, I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that you have to be honest about the person you are. But it is equally important for you to give the other person a chance to get to know you a little before you show them your complete collection of all the action figures — including the original Mego ones still in their packaging. Start slow, try to find a common ground that allows you to casually mention Trek, and get the other person's reaction. By doing this you can begin to break the ice and talk about Trek more freely. But no matter what happens, the most important thing is for you to be honest with how you feel about your show ... and the relationship too.

Dear Kate:
I have recently returned to Deep Space Nine from my vacation period on Risa. I felt a little funny since I arrived back but chalked it up to a slight transporter malfunction. I was playing Dabo at Quarks when a Trescellion told me I seemed very transparent. I took it to mean that he was aware of how many bars of gold-pressed latinum I actually had won. When I went to the bar for a shot of Saurian brandy even Quark remarked that he could "see right through me."

Upon returning to my quarters I looked in the mirror and realized that I could see the wall behind me. Fascinating!! Can you offer any insight into my recent dilemma? Many hearty congratulations on your new column. I await your response with my fading visage. O'Brien is of little help and Dr. Bashir even less.
Yours From The Wormhole
Lady Shanks

Dear Lady,

Hmmm... your situation seemed a bit beyond me — so, according to my friend Carl, he suggests that you might be caught in some sort of cloaked state. He said that something very similar happened to Geordi and Ensign Ro on the Enterprise-D. Anyway, Carl said that there should be some sort of energy signature that one of the crew in Engineering could analyze, and have you back to normal soon. Carl insisted that I watch the episode to give me a better idea of what he was talking about. Y'know, it's amazing really that the Engineering crew can explain what happened, yet no one ever explained what is in the flooring of the Enterprise-D that prevented Ro and Geordi from falling through! I mean, they could run through the walls! Why would the floor be any different? Come to think of it ... how is it that you were able to press the keys to send this message?

Kate,
I love the new CGI space scenes in the episode "Doomsday Machine." The realistic appearance of the Starships Constellation and Enterprise look fantastic and the realistic movements are also impressive. I do not understand why two scenes were not restored to their original glory. The two scenes I refer to are the one where Spock takes command from Commodore Decker and the other is Commodore Decker's fight with the security officer. These scenes had not changed in forty years until these restorations. How do we get CBS/Paramount to put these scenes back as they originally aired? During the restoration of other episodes, the content has changed in this same manner.
-swolf

Y'know Swolf, you're not the only one wondering this. So, I put in a call to the all-knowing gang over at STARTREK.COM and one of the nice guys I spoke with told me that the episodes which are airing now have actually been edited down for syndicated TV. See, the episodes were made back when there were fewer commercials so there was actually more time for the shows. Well, nowadays the stations try to fit in so many more commercials that the longer shows have to be trimmed, and something always has to be sacrificed. But don't worry, those scenes are not gone forever! That is one of the things that I love about DVD — the episodes in any collection are the originals, so it's all there in their entirety. But, here's a little extra advice: always be sure to read the back of the boxes for fine print that will tell you if anything has been edited out — believe it or not I found a concert DVD that had a song removed due to something or other, but it was noted on the back, so I knew this before I purchased it. So the question is, will the new CGI episodes be released on DVD? I haven't a clue, but I'm sure the folks at CBS will have the same attitude as any profit-making company — if there's money to be made then they'll do it.

dus spock lives ?

Yes ... yes he does. Apparently Spock and Elvis are good buddies and were spotted at a little diner near Roswell, NM, where Spock apparently told Elvis that peanut butter and bananas were illogical.

If everyone will indulge me for just a moment, I would like to play Cupid with the next two e-mails:

Dear Kate,
Hi, how are you? My name is David, I am a huge Trek fan, I am in college, and I need your help. I am 19 years old and I have few friends and I have never had a girlfriend before and believe it or not, I'm not depressed or unhappy. However, not many people around me like Star Trek. Not only that, but they don't seem to understand me, and I get weird looks. My question is, shall I try to be friends with them? Also, do you know of a way to get a cute girl that would want to be with me despite my love for Star Trek? Too many girls around me find that to be a major turnoff and I don't know how to get past that. Physically, I'm very healthy, I work out on a regular basis; I do running and several different weight exercises. I am Asian and about 5'7". Do you also think the turnoff is me being Asian and short?
-David

Dear David,
Of course there is nothing wrong with being Asian and 5'7"! Or liking Trek!! Just remember there are many girls out there who like Trek too, and even more that are shorter than 5'5". So with that being said, I would like for you to read the e-mail below — seems to me that you both are looking for the same thing ... could this be a love connection? Or maybe just a really good friendship. Either way I think you both could have a lot in common.

Dear Kate~
I'm an attractive, salaried, college-educated 23-year-old single blonde. How do I find a guy to date who loves Star Trek as much as I do but who isn't completely weird??
~One of One

Dear One of One,
I suggest that you read the e-mail above yours ... well, huh? Huh? What do you think? Okay, he's a little younger, but I have two words: "Demi Moore". Even the legendary Joan Collins is currently with a younger man — hey, if it's good enough for Edith Keeler, it might be worth checking into. And if nothing comes of this, hopefully you'll at least find that there really are nice guys out there who love Trek but aren't weird. You just have to adjust the settings on your tricorder to a finer search ... but they are out there.

Okay David & One of One, it's up to you now — and remember, it's always best to be friends first!

Okay, before I put another column safely to bed and tuck it in, there is one more question I really felt was worthy of closing on, just to leave everyone with something to think about:

Hey Kate!
I can remember being four years old and getting to stay up to watch Star Trek TOS with my Mom while my Dad was away in Viet Nam. Critics always talk about the key to Star Trek's popularity was its inclusion of socially relevant storylines, such as stories about race relations, wealth disparity, gender inequality, religious persecution, etc. Sexual orientation was later addressed in Next Generation and Deep Space Nine (favorite of all the series, by the way). As a gay fan of Star Trek, I guess I cared about Star Trek because it always showed folks comfortable in their environment and the people they worked with, regardless of their unique particularities. I dreamed one day to see that wherever I choose to work. It seems to me that Voyager and, definitely, Enterprise sadly moved away from the social issues format to try and boost ratings with gun fights and T&A female characters. Do you ever see Star Trek moving back to socially relevant story arcs should they ever get back on the small screen?
Graciously yours,
Shaun in S'port

Dear Shaun,
I sure hope so! The times are different, of course — back in the 1960s science fiction was the only way many topics could be brought to light or talked about. If something was not okay for humans to deal with, such as race relations or gender issues, the story would have been told involving a robot or an alien. There was a certain "let's outsmart the viewers and the networks, but the subconscious will get the meaning" thing going on. Maybe this is the wrong phrasing, but the writers were more clever because they had to be! It's a shame that Enterprise didn't do so well in the ratings, and ended far sooner than many thought it should, but let's hope the decision-makers catch on that we won't watch just anything that says "Star Trek," and what made Trek such an enduring classic is the smart writing and the social relevance ... although, I think we can do without the fake eyelashes the girls wore.

Well, I guess that about does it for this one ... whew! I hope you liked it! So, enjoy life, and I'll be looking forward to more of your e-mails.

If you wish to ask Kate a question or need some advice on your own Trek life, you can write to her at columns@startrek.com with the subject "ASK KATE." (Letters are subject to editing at Kate's discretion.)

Letters to Kate become Kate's sole property. Submitting to Kate relinquishes all ownership rights to, or any claims for financial or other consideration in connection with the submitted material, including any ideas, suggestions, script ideas, anything. This goes for you too, Carl!