Kate is a freelance writer who offers her advice on a wide range of subjects drawn from her own Trek life experiences. The views and opinions expressed by Kate are hers and hers alone... and trust us, she has opinions! Click here to send your question to Kate.

Hey Everyone!

First, let me say just how excited I am about being able to write this column! When I found out, I was so completely shocked! And my friends ... well, let's just say some took it better than others. Anyway, enough about me. I would much rather talk about you — my readers! You guys are truly awesome! I am so impressed and pleased with all the encouraging words I've gotten and how supportive everyone has been ... maybe I better stop this before it turns into an Academy Awards speech that goes on and on and then the orchestra tries to play you off the stage ... not a pretty sight...

So without further ado, I'll dive right into your questions — after all, this is what we're here for, right? Gosh, I'm so nervous! Okay, here we go:

Hi Kate,
I have a problem I'm hoping you can help me solve. I'm 46 and I've been dating a 75-year-old Vulcan named T'Fel. My kids and grandkids are repulsed by the fact that I'm dating someone old enough to be my mother. They don't understand the differences in age and biological development between the two species. Could you clear this up for me?
Live Long And Prosper.
Bob N.
Vulcan Exo-biologist

Hi Bob!!
Since your e-mail was the very first one I received, I thought it only fitting to make your question the first one I answered! Yaayy!

No matter what the species, love and relationships can be the most difficult things in life — that and getting into a good college. And no matter how hard we try, we can't explain why we love the people we love — that's just the way it works. It is sad that the world has drilled into everyone's brains that we have to judge and be judged by a number. Perhaps that is something you can try: ask your kids and grandkids to look at the situation from a logical standpoint ... uh, no pun intended ... and take the numbers out of the equation, and observe.

Keep in mind, trying overly hard to convince your kids, friends or whomever, will only make the connection between you and T'Fel seem fake and like you have something to hide. So be true to yourselves, try not to let the words of others affect you, and ... wait a minute! Wasn't Spock, like, almost two hundred or something when he met Picard? So if that's the case, a Vulcan at 75 should be at about the same point in their life as a human at 46! And here I thought you were supposed to be the Exo-biologist.

Kate,
Welcome to the inner sanctum! I'd like to ask you about two personal matters that are very near and dear to me neither of which is mixing very well. My radiant girlfriend and my love for all things Trek. She has always been accepting and/or tolerant of my fanatic devotion to Star Trek. Enduring many long nights of rerun marathons, Trek conventions, and excessive Sci-fi decorations that dot our home. I will soon be proposing to her on our anniversary and though she probably won't make it an issue I'm afraid that once together I will be forced from my life among the stars. How can I meld these two together without losing one or the other?
Thank you,
NkuN_Prime

Dear NkuN_Prime,
Thanks for the welcoming wish! Aw, that is so sweet — you're going to propose on your anniversary! Well, right there you have already made a wise choice for your future: by popping the question then, you should be less likely to forget when your anniversary is! Then again ... if you do forget, that'll mean you forgot two anniversaries instead of one ... I really intended for that to be more encouraging than it sounds, but I think you know what I'm getting at... Look, the bottom line is that you love each other! If you haven't already, you need to express to your bride-to-be that while Trek is important to you, it will never be as important as her. Remind her of all the good times you've had together because of Trek and just how grateful you are that she is so accepting (and when you tell her this, feel free to add that you know how much it gets on her nerves sometimes ... this should get you a few bonus points). You might also want to throw in a comparison between her and the stars — this should be easy for you as you've already called your girlfriend "radiant" (just don't go overboard and use the word "tribbles").

But all of this aside, love, happiness and marriage are about being together, and you have to realize that there may be a few bumps or crabby days — and take notice that fear is nowhere listed! You shouldn't have to be fearful, even though as humans we far too often think in terms of fear, and all that does is clouds our mind and darkens our emotions. Express your love, gently remind her that you're not going to change, and tell her how she makes Trek that much more fun and meaningful for you. Although ... every now and then it wouldn't hurt to watch the Style Channel with her. Or better yet, compliment her shoes.

Kate,
Will the rest of the world ever stop looking at Trek fans as "nerds"?
Thanks,
Kolinahr7

Dear Kolinahr7,
I'm a bit confused as to why you see that as a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with being viewed as a person with a brain. Now grant you, I personally prefer the word "geek" — it just sounds a little more friendly. But haven't you noticed that the only people you will find using the word "nerd" are either those with closed minds who direct it at someone else whose passion they don't understand, or those who ascribe it to themselves as a badge of honor? There are those who are perfectly comfortable with who they are and take pride in this title. In fact, there are many people with clout who are Star Trek fans, and have publicly admitted this! By the standards of the "normal world," that horrible pack of nerds out there would include the likes of ... Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft, founder of the Sci-Fi Museum in Seattle, super-rich philanthropist, Star Trek fan (he owns Captain Kirk's chair!) ... Al Gore, amazing environmentalist, former Vice-President, Star Trek fan ... Betty White, animal activist, brilliant actress, Star Trek fan ... Whoopi Goldberg, edgy comedian, Oscar winner, who liked Trek so much that she insisted on being a part of it ... Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, you know what they did, and they're Star Trek fans ... and Christian Slater, Ben Stiller and the list goes on and on! So, I ask you, is anyone laughing at them? Okay, yeah, Whoopi and Betty and even Al Gore (he was hilarious at the Oscars!), but these are some of the most gifted people in their fields. And you know what, if liking Trek puts me even a little bit in the same category as these talented and globally influential people, then I am proud to be called a nerd!

So guys ... how am I doing so far? :-D

hey kate when is startrek come back on tv I do miss it so much:P

Dear P,
Maybe you should look into getting the DVDs — that way you can watch the episodes whenever you want! Or all at once ... which I don't really recommend, that can be a rather intense experience ... trust me ...

Dear Kate,
I really need your help. I am a 20 year old Star Trek fan, and have been a devoted Trekker for over half my life. I recently became engaged to my equally nerdy boyfriend. However, I've found a serious flaw. Every time we hear the line from the Weird Al song White & Nerdy, "The only question I ever thought was hard was, do I like Kirk, or do I like Picard?", he immediately states that there's "no contest": Picard. How can he say this? I was born and raised on both Classic Trek and the Next Generation. I have never been able to decide for myself which is better. Each has his merits, strengths and weaknesses. How can I at least show my fiancé that Classic Trek has merits too? That just because it's old, doesn't mean it's not a jewel?
Please help!
Zabet

Dear Zabet,
Congratulations!! Wow, so many of you Trek fans out there are becoming engaged! This is exciting, I'm so happy for all of you! Well, it sounds to me that if this is the only flaw in your soon-to-be hubby, then things should go very well for you both. But hmm... I do see your dilemma. You are absolutely correct: you can't discard something just because it's retro! The Classic Trek episodes are if nothing else, fun for their sensibility of the future — could you imagine the astronauts of today wearing the giant Yeoman Rand beehive? Clearly these were a product of the 1960's, and thus, the men had to be "manly" and all about action, while the women were coming into their own independence yet still fragile. But Next Gen was a product of its time too! Twenty years from now, will it be any less great?

But if your man will not watch Classic with you, you could always point out that the women are always wearing skimpy little outfits ... that might get his attention! As for which Captain is best? Well, I think the same answer applies here as to how many licks does it take to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop: The world may never know.

But if you were to ask me who would win in a fight, Kirk or Picard ... well, that's an easy one: Captain Kirk! He's always going on the away missions and battling some sort of creature. Let's face it, have we ever seen Captain Picard do those funky leg exercises that Kirk does in Sickbay? I don't think so!

Dear Kate,
How do you like gagh?
F.L.

Far away from me, F.L.! Far, far away...

Hi Kate,
I am so happy that you got a column of your own on StarTrek.com! I really look forward to reading it. I think it's going to be the best one ever. I've been reading about you, that Trek fan, and that other guy since the beginning. I log on every Monday to the site to do so.
I just have to say that I think you are so beautiful and very sexy. I look forward to seeing your new outfit each week. Some of them have made me fall out of my chair! I would love to take you out for dinner sometime soon. If you would grace me with your presence I would be happier than Riker on his wedding night. Oh, by the way, would you have a problem dressing up for me like Seven-of-Nine?
All my love,
Your devoted Imzadi

My Lawd, sir, I'm think I'm about to take the vapors! Goodness gracious, with lines like those how could you possibly not have your dance card full? How wilst you have a moment for little ol' me? Well, it is flattering to hear how many of you follow our Trek Life so faithfully ... did you see yesterday's? So it should come as no surprise that an e-mail like yours would stir up many emotions deep within me, that I find myself overcome ... and unable to hold back the words ... YEAH! I DO HAVE A PROBLEM DRESSING UP LIKE SEVEN-OF-NINE!!! ... Sir.

Dear Kate,
Now that you are part of the great and powerful STARTREK.com, can you get me an autographed picture of Cyia Batten, Crystal Allen, Menina Fortunato and Bobbi Sue Luther? And, can you have them write "To Our Favorite Fan of All Time, Carl". Oh! Umm... it's for my friend Carl... which is not my name.
May your success bring you as much joy as this photo would bring to me... I mean, to my friend...
You should *sniff* be very... prosperous.
Signed,
Krall

You'll have to do better than that Carl! You forget, I can see your e-mail address! Mwahahaha... Hmm, can I talk the Orion Slave Girls out of a signed photo? That is, if I even knew them — which I'm not saying I do, and I'm not saying I don't... I guess somebody is going to have to be extra nice to somebody else! Mwahahahaha...

That just about wraps things up for my first column, but before I go I'd like to close with a little segment I like to call Kate's Curious ... So, today's topic comes from an e-mail submitted by Mr Johan S.:

I think the Voyager-era uniform is the best one.
Which one do you like the most?
Thanks from Mr Johan S.

Today's Topic: The Starfleet Uniform.

We've all seen the various styles of Starfleet uniforms — the ones worn by Kirk and his crew in the original series, the classic crew movie tunics, Next Gen, DS9/Voyager, First Contact ... and it's difficult to narrow down which is best. But something that really makes Kate curious, is how do these changes get made? No, I'm not talking about the wardrobe and production design people, who do fantastic work... I mean in the reality of Trek, within Starfleet, is there some sort of Fashion Council that regulates the dress code and says "every 50 years the uniforms must be updated"? And whose decision was it to make the standard-issue Starfleet uniforms in Voyager/DS9 match almost identically to the ones worn by the cadets when Wesley was in the Academy? Didn't anyone notice this? Seriously, if a cadet were to come onboard, how would anyone be able to distinguish them from the crew? Although, I will say this — those uniforms, the DS9/Voyager and also the First Contact/later-DS9 ones, are very chic! It really is more figure-flattering to keep the majority of the body in one solid dark color. You can never go wrong with basic black. Definitely, a very smart fashion move that's cool with Kate!

Keep those questions coming! See you next time!

If you wish to ask Kate a question or need some advice on your own Trek life, you can write to her at columns@startrek.com with the subject "ASK KATE." (Letters are subject to editing at Kate's discretion.)

Letters to Kate become Kate's sole property. Submitting to Kate relinquishes all ownership rights to, or any claims for financial or other consideration in connection with the submitted material, including any ideas, suggestions, script ideas, anything. This goes for you too, Carl!