Kate is a freelance writer who offers her advice on a wide range of subjects drawn from her own Trek life experiences. The views and opinions expressed by Kate are hers and hers alone... and trust us, she has opinions! Click here to send your question to Kate.

Hey Everyone!

Well, September is just about over and the smell of Fall is in the air! The leaves are starting to turn bright colors and cover the ground ... that is, unless you live on the other side of the globe, or on another planet and your seasons are different — but anyway, everything is just so pretty! This really is one of my favorite times of year! Okay, I'm gonna geek out for a moment ... so when the ground is all bright orange and red, does it make you wonder that if we someday plant trees on Mars, is this what it would be like? Would the vegetation take on the rust colors found in the soil? Then what would happen to us? I mean, it's a proven fact that if people eat too many carrots their skin will start to take on the orange pigmentation. Would everyone turn all Oompa-Loompa? Woo, that would be interesting! And maybe it would help to explain Michael Jackson... Never mind, I think I'll save that for the Halloween column.

Okay, question time!

Dear Kate,
I was recently at a convention where most people costumed. During a break, I was relaxing in my hotel room when I suddenly looked out my window and saw a very convincing "Zorro" on the balcony across from me. He didn't see me (or anyone else, I presume), and proceeded to undress right there on the balcony – completely! I'm not a voyeur, but I simply couldn't help myself – Zorro was an extremely good-looking guy with the – um – "sword" to back it up. I think I'm in love. I never had the chance to find out who this masked marvel was. How can I track him down? Please help me!
Signed,
Window Watcher

Dear Window Watcher,

Hmm... a masked man with an impressive sword... Sounds like a catch! Well, I think it's safe to say this guy is not at all shy. So it seems to me like he might appreciate the trouble that you are willing to go to for him — guys liked to be wooed too, y'know. And since I assume this event is already over, the only thing I can suggest is to start crafting your battle plan for next year. As this convention sounds like it's very relaxed and the attendees are quite the fun party kind, I think you could start making some "Wanted Posters" to hang up around the event — oh, and because you'll be making them ahead of time, leave a blank so you can fill in your room number (I wouldn't put any other personal info than that — best to play safe). And too, from my own experiences at conventions, often many people are regulars and know each other so it doesn't hurt to ask around, and check if there is a daily newsletter or bulletin board where you can spread the word. Plus, be sure to keep your eyes peeled at the various restaurants and coffee shops, you never know where he'll pop up. (Sorry, did I say something naughty?) As hard as it may be to accept (oops, there I go again), just remember, if it's meant to be, things will work out.

Oh, umm... which convention did you say this was?

Kate,
It has come to the attention of the Borg that carbon based life forms in this sector and temporal matrix are obsessed with the Star Trex VI digital transmission. We, at Unimatrix 0, have assimalated many life forms and species in the quest to uncover more information, as your planet earth seems devoid of an answers, as to whome will be appearing and starring in this factual tale, at the federations demise at the hands of a superior race. Can you enlighten us with information, or will you be assimulated in to our collective?
Five of Seven- Unimatrix zero, Delta Sector

Hey Five of Seven,

Y'know, one would think that with all of your technology you'd be able to hack into J.J. Abrams' computer and get the answers you seek ... or at least assimilate a better spellchecker. Oh wait! You asked about Star Trek VI — well... ummm... everyone already knows that was the last time the Original cast was all together. Oops! I hope I didn't ruin it for you.

P.S. Females of our species don't take kindly to threats, buddy! Didn't Admiral Janeway teach you guys anything?

Dear Kate,
I am sending an encrypted subspace transmission, hailing a genuine medium and spiritual adviser, clairvoyant etc., one who may be willing to meld with me. I am desperately seeking to be transported away from all the hostility, negativity and abusive environment that I've continued to endure, my whole life. I am desperately hoping to find an avenue away from all this and change the direction of my life and help some others change theirs for the better too, I hope.
Please help me Kate...
Regards
Ensign O'Brien

Dear Ensign O'Brien,

I'm flattered you're seeking the advice of little ol' Kate ... well, let me see what I can offer in some small way. I think you're off to a good start by being aware that there's more possibility in life than your current circumstances. As many people believe, and I agree, real change only happens when you take charge of those things you can control, in small steps. For example, you may not be happy in your home but it may not be possible to move. Then perhaps you can paint the walls of your room a different color, one that would make you feel more comfortable or relaxed — again, a small step but one you can take charge of to establish a new direction, even if it's subtle.

Now, I know that you asked about spiritual help, and I'm not a clairvoyant or a medium or anything, and I don't know anyone like that (where's a Betazoid when you need one?). But perhaps you could try meditation, or some exercise to help clear the mind and allow you a few moments of quiet to just be in the present moment and not think about the past or the future. Some people swear by it, that it helps you take charge of your life. One thing that has helped shape my outlook is remembering to stress the things that I want out of life in a positive manner, since I believe that you get what you perceive! Tell yourself the positive things you want, not the negative things you don't want. For example, "I want to enjoy today" is an affirmative message to give yourself — but, "I don't want to be sad" is a little too confusing for your subconscious. Make sense?

If you want more beneficial guidance and don't know where else to turn, I would suggest going to the local library or bookstore and finding the section that is often labeled "Self Help" (or ask someone who works there). As you browse through the books, I'm sure you'll find one that you will be compelled to read. My own personal suggestions of a few authors you might want to look into: Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, the Dalai Lama. As with anything, please, please keep in mind that you may not agree with everything they say, and it's perfectly fine not to! When reading these books, or talking to a counselor or anything else, it's important to always think things through and see what feels right to you. There are many phonies out there trying to make a fast buck, and sadly the self-help market is flooded with these kinds of people. So trust your instincts as to what makes sense for you — even if it's only one sentence in an entire book, or speech, that could be enough to change your life.

I hope you find what you're looking for. All your Star Trek friends are rooting for you.

Dear Kate,
Greetings! You may remember my asking you a while back, "What do you see in Carl?" Well, now you pose to us an even bigger conundrum: what do you see in SNUGGLES?!? I mean, if you wanted a four-footed Federation booster in your home, wouldn't something a tad gentler be appropriate -- say, a rabid targ?
Hoping Carl survives,
Johanan R, Memory Alpha
P.S.: Section 31 could answer your brilliant question about the Red Shirts, but then they'd have to kill you.

Hey Johanan,

What do you mean, something gentler than Snuggles?!? It's not my fault Snuggles and Carl can't agree on who is the better Captain. Heck, I don't think many people on this planet can agree on that! Besides, boys will be boys. Oh, and as for the rabid targ ... can targs get rabies?

P.S. re: Section 31 — I don't doubt that ... why do ya think I always wear a blue uniform, hmm?

All right gang, I think that'll do it for this week's edition. And who knows, if we're lucky maybe we'll get another casting announcement for the new movie (that's XI, not VI). We've already got Spock, Chekov and Uhura. Makes me wonder who's gonna be next! I wonder who'll get cast as Scotty? Oh, and there's Nurse Chapel ... hmmm... I wonder if they'd consider me for that one! Hope they've got enough hairspray ... and hey, maybe they'll touch on a romance with Spock...and then... Okay, I'm gonna go now. Everyone be nice to each other! Later!

If you wish to ask Kate a question or need some advice on your own Trek life, you can write to her at columns@startrek.com with the subject "ASK KATE." (Letters are subject to editing at Kate's discretion.)

Letters to Kate become Kate's sole property. Submitting to Kate relinquishes all ownership rights to, or any claims for financial or other consideration in connection with the submitted material, including any ideas, suggestions, script ideas, anything. This goes for you too, Carl!