Alphonse O. Carpone, a native of Sigma Iotia II, was a graduate student in interstellar law at U.C. Berkeley on a scholarship from the JTK Foundation. In addition to his studies, Mr. Carpone served pro bono publico as legal counsel to the Group for the Release of Extra-terrestrial Entrepreneurs and Digiterati. He is also the 3-time undefeated Pan-Federation Fizzbin Champion. The views and opinions expressed by Mr. Carpone are in no way reflective of those of the Federation or Starfleet.

Greetings Fellow Sentients ...

First, I hope that you all had yourselves some very merry holidays and a wondrous New Year. K'Plett and Pelgar visited us for Thanksgiving; we all enjoyed the roast porcuswine fresh from the K'Plett-Carpone Ranch. There were more dishes on the table than Carter's got little liver pills. The stuffing was particularly swell.

Bad news: there's been a reorganization of my family business back home. Something about "diverging synergies" and "demerger and acquisitions." I don't get it — after all, I am a lawyer, not an investment banker!

But it means I have to cut my studies short and return to assist the family. For now, at least, that means this column will be on an indefinite hiatus. In other words, I've got a one-way ticket to transport out of Palookaville. For now.

A mash note to all: I want to thank everyone for their time and effort here, both out there in reader-land and here at Starfleet. It has been a blast, and I will treasure my memories of working with all of you. As grandpa would have said, "Live long and prosper" (Gramps was quite a fan of Spocko).

And now, of course, a parting haiku:

Gotterdammerung
But I'll be seeing you in
All the Trek places

Goodbye, farewell and amen.

If you wish to ask Mr. Carpone a question or need some advice on how to get a piece of the action, you can write him a respectful letter by clicking here.

[Since his return to his home planet, Mr. Carpone is no longer accepting your correspondence.]

Letters to Mr. Carpone become Mr. Carpone's sole property. Submitting to Mr. Carpone relinquishes all ownership rights to, or any claims for financial or other consideration in connection with the submitted material, including any ideas, suggestions, script ideas, anything.