Star Trek Host: Welcome to the Ferengi Family Chat! We're honored to be chatting today with Grand Nagus Rom, his lovely wife Leeta and his Starfleet Lieutenant son Nog.

Rom: Hello brother, oops, sorry, I meant to say "Hello everybody." Quark has me too well trained ...

Leeta: Hello, everyone ... ! No, I have him too well trained ...

Nog: I'm definitely not trained. I have issues with that.

Question: Leeta is such a babe, and Rom is, well ... Rom. What does she see in him anyway?
targcatcher

Rom: Everybody should see how fetching my wife Leeta looks!

Leeta: Oh, Rom. It got me many more episodes. No, just kidding. Rom is lovely on the inside, and well, not bad in other departments.

Q: Leeta, have you thought about opening a bar or restaurant on Ferenginar?
jeromer

Leeta: Actually, since I'm a liberated female — but I'm also the First Lady and need to follow Ferengi rules — I've opened the first Ferenginar Victoria's Secret.

Rom: Now we should pass a law saying females are allowed to wear clothes, especially night-time clothes.

Leeta: We prefer that to be optional.

Rom: We should be careful to see if there are any children chatting — You have to be 18 to enter this chatroom! Eighteen year-old children are fine, 34 year-old children are even better.

Q: Nog, do you hope to command your own starship one day?
danG

Nog: Of course. Are you kidding? I've already done it in one time line.

Nog: As long as I can have all dabo girls as my crew!

Nog: Since my mom is an ex-dabo girl, I've got a plethora of girls to choose from.

Leeta: Sit down, Nog.

Q: What do you think Rom and Leeta's baby would look like? Bajoran nose, Ferengi ears ... ? And would the child be brought up to respect latinum, or the Prophets?
SciFiScully

Nog: It would be brought up to respect me!

Leeta: I've often pondered that ... I don't know ... cleavage with ears? I think Ferengi birth control is a very good idea.

Nog: I don't think it's possible for a human and Ferengi to mate and actually have a child.

Q: What is it like being the Grand Nagus? What changes/reforms have you instituted?
JMorales

Rom: Right now it's a little bit of a party. There's a lot of partying going on. Lots of balls. And everybody has been so nice to me. Asking me about my health ? if I have any dangerous, deadly diseases, or if I want any dangerous deadly diseases. That kind of thing.

Nog: You hold a lot of balls, huh?

Rom: But the real work of cleaning up Ferenginar is just in the planning stages, with my Kitchen Cabinet.

Rom: I call them my Tube Grub Cabinet.

Q: It's obvious that the Ferengi have learned much from humans. What can humans learn from Ferengi?
skyotter

Nog: Oomox!

Rom: Rule of Acquisition Number Ten: Greed is Eternal.

Leeta: No, I think humans already know that.

Q: Rom, what is the worst joke that your brother ever played on you?
Ensignsunburn

Nog: Didn't he tie your lobes together?

Rom: The worst joke that Quark ever played on me? I pass. When he tied my lobes together, Ow, that hurt!

Rom: That was for not diluting the Saurian Brandy. If you don't dilute the Saurian Brandy enough, he gets real mad.

Q: What is your favorite Rule of Acquisition?
darkshadow

Leeta: #223: Beware the man who doesn't make time for oomox. (Lolita, why are you laughing?)

Nog: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife!

Nog: Once you have their money ... you never give it back. And that includes husbands!

Rom: You know, as Nagus I have someone who knows all the Rules, so I don't really have to know them myself. But I think it's Number 46 or 48, "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife." I have a personal assistant who always has the Rules with him, so I'm a little off the hook on having to know them as Nagus.

Q: Is there anything else that Ferengi like other than money?
mikejmoe

Rom: More money! What's better than money is MORE money!

Nog: Women, lots of women!

Rom: I think even more than money, Ferengi value the "art of the deal."

Rom: It's the science of business that intrigues us and that is what we're trying to improve upon.

Q: Nog, did you ever change your tactics regarding non-Ferengi women? Any new girlfriends latley?
Yangtzeekiang

Nog: Well, I reserve my Ferengi ways for at least a second date. With that said, no. I'm not too popular with the women of Starfleet. I don't have time for women right now ... at least not that kind of woman. I've got a career to focus on. I don't need any birds flying by ... any distractions.

Q: What aspects of Ferengi culture would you like to see on Earth?
cassiopia_

Nog: No clothes for women!!!

Leeta: Sit down, Nog.

Rom: Oomox parlours. You guys don't know what you're missing.

Rom: A better behaved stock market.

Leeta: Better insider trading.

Q: Have you made any good aquisitions lately?
the_emissary

Rom: You mean, since Leeta?

Leeta: Oh, Rom.

Rom: We're looking for a home on Ferenginar but the real-estate market is, at the moment, over valued.

Rom: I mean, since the Nagus lives in a palace, we're looking for a secondary residence.

Q: To Leeta, why didn't it work out with Julian Bashir? What was it about Rom that did work out? Wouldn't you prefer someone closer to your own height?
sidfan

Leeta: Well, good things come in small packages ... besides, Julian and I were way too Barbie & Ken.

Q: Rom, do you get Leeta to pre-chew your tube-grubs for you?
Sfcommand

Rom: One has to make compromises in marriage. Part of our pre-nuptial agreement states that Leeta would never have to put anything in her mouth she didn't want to.

Leeta: Darn straight.

Nog: That's when I leave the room.

Nog: I got tired of chewing his food!

Rom: When I really need something chewed, I go to Moogie.

Nog: Mothers will do anything for their sons. Q: Rom, how is Moogie?
captainc

Rom: Moogie is part of the new administration, helping us plan the changes we want to implement on Ferenginar.

Q: Now we have Nog in Starfleet, do you think we will soon have more Ferengi in Starfleet?
michaos

Nog: Yeah, but none as good as me!

Q: Rom who do you think would win if the Klingon and Federation went to war?
whiteknight8669

Rom: I have to put all of my substantial wealth on the Federation.

Nog: The Ferengi. War is good for business.

Q: For Leeta — how does your own (Bajoran) family get along with their (Ferengi) in-laws?
skyotter

Leeta: Sniff! I'm a Bajoran war orphan, so there's no one else but Rom ...

Nog: I've got my eye on her cousin.

Q: Rom is there anything that you do not like about being Grand Nagus?
captainc

Rom: Well, all the security that follows me around, trying to protect my life.

Leeta: That's just to balance all the insecurity.

Rom: I think when they want to get me, they're going to get me.

Rom: Also, the gold-pressed Latinum plumbing is a bit much.

Q: Do Ferengi wear boxers, briefs or do they "go commando"?
pelgarfan

Leeta: Uh-oh.

Nog: I wear Superman under-roos.

Rom: We wear exactly what the Scottish Hew-Mon males wear under their kilts.

Q: Just how many strips of gold-pressed latinum would it take to sell out a family member? How much for your entire family?
usetheforce30

Leeta: For Nog? Any offers?

Nog: I love stepmoms.

Nog: I already got someone who's paying me on layaway for Leeta.

Leeta: It'll take years.

Leeta: Prinadora's for sale ...

Nog: He would never sell me out. I love my father too much.

Nog: If I got rid of my uncle, I wouldn't have free root beer. So it's in my best interest to keep him around. It's not good business to sell out my father.

Nog: Or my uncle. But Leeta? Mmmmm ... She's got too many connections.

Rom: Although Rule of Acquisition #6 says, "Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity," I love my own family and no amount of strips could turn me against them. Now, if you're talking BARS ... write back.

Q: Leeta, do you still keep in touch with your friends from DS9 like Nerys, etc? And if you do, how are they these days?
Torrez

Leeta: Well, Kira's been on Broadway, so we don't see her ... but I keep getting stalker letters from Brunt ...

Rom: Ich frage mich, gibt es einen deutscher da?

Q: Why can't Ferengi women wear clothes?
darktribbel21

Rom: To get to the other side.

Leeta: Rom!

Nog: Why would we want them to?

Rom: There are no female clothing stores yet on Ferenginar.

Leeta: We're changing all that. Check out our new catalog. It's, well, out of this world. Leeta'sSecret.com

Rom: Although the 99-cent store sells towels.

Q: Nog, who's command style would you like too emulate when you get command?
capttorbs

Nog: Nobody's. I want to do my own command style!

Leeta: He'll have to, in order to be able to reach the controls.

Q: What was Zek like, personally?
iceplanetzeo

Rom: He was a Nagus of a man.

Rom: Most people thought his breath stank, but to me it was rather sweet. He's been very helpful in getting the new administration under way as well.

Rom: And he had an infectious laugh (heeee heeeee heeeeee heeeee heeeee!).

Leeta: He really needs a manicure.

Leeta: He's always in the store, shopping ...

Q: Do you guys know Pelgar?
mikejmoe

Leeta: Who?

Rom: Who?

Rom: Does he give love-advice between Ferengi and other alien species?

Leeta: Why, Rom, gotta problem?

Nog: We all have a problem with it.

Q: How's Quark doing?
spbass

Leeta: Constipated, as usual.

Nog: He's working more than us.

Leeta: Speak for yourself!

Rom: He's holding down the Ferengi fort as the last bastion of ultra-conservative Ferengi captialism.