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Just watched STV

Treknoir

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 1784

Report this Jan. 14 2013, 1:33 pm

Okay, I know it's beating a dead and rotting horse corpse at this point, but I just watched STV. I have Amazon Prime and was able to watch it for free. The only other movie I haven't seen is Insurrection.


I feel like I need therapy or something after watching this mess. I mean WTF? The graphics. The story. Shatner's climbing double! Why is Scotty acting like he doesn't want Uhura's brown sugar? LOL Just what is he doing with those ship parts late at night?


Sybok is Creepy McCreeperston III and probably shouldn't be near children and vulnerable animals. Matter of fact, I want to rescue his blue horned space horse because the poor thing has probably been mistreated.


"God" as played by the Original Blue Man is a creeper too.


The barrier was too foamy for other ships to pass?


Okay, I've vented.



It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want. - Spock

Treknoir

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POSTS: 1784

Report this Jan. 15 2013, 7:29 am

LOL @ saving the best for last. I may need to have a drink before I watch Insurrection then.


The rocket boots are pretty far down on my contempt list for STV, so there's that.


Okay, I will say something nice about the movie. The rock climbing double was HILARIOUS. My son came into the room to see why I was cackling like an idiot. I also liked the flashback scenes for McCoy and Spock. I had actually seen the "so human" scene on youtube, but seeing it in the movie made it sadder. Sarek is an a-hole.  AND The faux Romulan's (Fauxmulan?) dress was nice. Best dressed Romulan. Ever.


It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want. - Spock

UninvitedGuest

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POSTS: 180

Report this Jan. 15 2013, 1:32 pm

ST:V's intro-scene is retarded with Sybok and that super-ugly guy in the desert.

Treknoir

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POSTS: 1784

Report this Jan. 16 2013, 10:21 am

LOL @ the beginning scene with Sybok and the funny teeth guy. I can't remember, why was the guy digging holes?


Why did Sarek say, "so human?" I told you, he's an a-hole! LOL All that Vulcan logic and he didn't plan on his human wife birthing a mixed species child? Maybe he thought his Vulcan swimmers would somehow cancel out the human DNA.


Maybe we can give them the benefit of the doubt because Sybok looked like his mom and not at ALL like his dad. That's the extent of my generosity with STV.


The rocket boots don't even make sense. Physically, it would be hard to control both legs. A jet pack would have been better.


Okay, another nice thing. Spock singing row, row, row your boat while playing a Vulcan harp was kinda cute.


And McCoy, bless his heart, loved to dress like Three's Company era Don Knotts.


It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want. - Spock

NCC-1873

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POSTS: 27

Report this Jan. 17 2013, 7:55 am

@ServalanFan. You can use this point when arguing the boots. Back in the '60s they were saying the same thing about comunicators and Uhuras ear piece a la cell phone and blu tooth.

Treknoir

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 1784

Report this Jan. 22 2013, 10:53 am

LOL @ SevalanFan needing to cling to the rocket boots.


TVH is my most favorite ST movie. EVER. Spock. Mind melded. With. A whale.


I nearly laughed myself unconscious when Spock melded with Vger in the TMP. When he jumped into the whale tank in his Vulcan undies in TVH I was no more good. Plus, he VNPd that young punk!


Anyway, back to STV. The buff Klingon woman is awesome. Her real name is Spice Williams. Isnt' that a hoot? She has a stripper name but can probably break most of us in half.


I agree with you re: the poor people/corruption on Nimbus.


It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want. - Spock

2takesfrakes

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POSTS: 3683

Report this Feb. 16 2013, 3:41 pm

TREK NOIR, you are so right, regarding your assessment
of this STAR TREK entry! And not only did Shatner want
unicorns in his STAR TREK movie, but Roddenberry had to talk
him out of it. I wonder why Shatner thought unicorns were cool?
Maybe, because unicorns poop precious gems and fart glitter ...


And THEN to introduce the idea, in Shatner's outline, at least,
of meeting the real, actual Creator of The Universe. And THEN
realizing "him" as The Cowardly Lion, of all things! Look ...
you can't visualize He Who Has No Name, without disappointing
the audience, to begin with. But Bill got to direct a movie ... YAY!
Only STAR TREK would love him enough to ever let him, though.


leroybrock

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POSTS: 213

Report this Feb. 19 2013, 7:39 pm

While the movie did have some clear and serious faults it wasn't as bad as people say. It had some really enjoyable moments in it (such as Spock nerve-pinching the horse!). At least you can sit through this. I have yet to be able to make it through more than 20-30 minutes of Nemesis despite multiple opportunities.

I Am Ultra Narcissus.

OtakuJo

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POSTS: 16362

Report this Feb. 20 2013, 3:23 am

Stuff I like about STV:


* The "Planet of Galactic Peace" is a boring shit-hole. That is how I imagine any attempted utopia would eventually turn out.


* The opening scene reminds me of a Terry Gilliam movie. (Perhaps Jabberwocky or Time Bandits or something like that.) Might have been funnier if Sybok was clicking empty coconut halves together...


* The climbing bit was kind of weird, but the campfire scene with Kirk, Spock & Bones was hilarious.


Have you ever danced with a Tribble in the pale moonlight?

johnd777

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POSTS: 1029

Report this Feb. 24 2013, 5:34 pm

Personally, I think Bill was trying to get back to the TOS roots. All Vulcans were not Spock look alikes. He himself was in Vulcan make up in the Enterprise Incident.


You guys in TNG did great work (especially in seasons 2-7 that first season was PEWWIE)... but everything had become so clinical. The adventure and "cowboy diplomacy" were missing in TNG and many of the movies.


Funny how now that I have seen the Chris Pine interpretation of James T. Kirk, I have a better insight to the Bill Shatner TJ Hooker Kirk. I get it. And he did a good job within the guidelines of TOS and the 1960's era vieweing audience. He could not be then as Chris Pine was or even as Bill was in later movies...


I admit STV was not one of my favorites before the recent reboot... but now it actually is. It recaptured some of the less serious about our belly buttons campiness TOS had in many of its episodes.


 


 


 

2takesfrakes

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POSTS: 3683

Report this Feb. 25 2013, 4:19 am

I disagree. The Final Frontier is Shatner's
personal Valentine to Captain James T. Kirk.
Everybody in this story is only there to make
him look awesome, or to revere him as the greatest
of men - even the Klingons revere him, oddly enough.


Otherwise, Shatner did, what he thought, was a
story so wild and over-the-top that he would amaze
HOLLYWOOD and become the next Speilberg. This project
did not have "the fans" in mind. It was entirely self-serving.


leroybrock

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POSTS: 213

Report this Feb. 25 2013, 10:16 am

I've heard the idea that this movie was for Kirk before but I don't understand it. In STV pretty much every character got to have fun or be cool in some way while Kirk was not very influential.

Uhura
- Gets to be attractive and dance in the moonlight naked and trap fools.
- Gets to be unrestrained and tries to fondle Scotty.

Chekhov
- Gets to sit in the Captain's chair and be competant (better than VI which degraded him to comic relief).

Bones
- Gets to be Bones (he's always awesome anyway).
- Gets a powerful scene where he remembers his terrible choice to let his father go and the terrible unforseen later complication where they cure his father's disease shortly afterward.
- Gets to be the only person "helped" by Sybok that isn't seduced into following him.

Spock
- Got rocket boots.
- Was "helped" by Sybok and got to politely inform him that he's not an insecure child that can't handle reality.
- Got to boss an old, drunken Klingon.
- Got to fly a Bird of Prey and shoot God in the face.

Sulu
- Got to crash land a shuttle into the ship without killing them all.

Sybok
- Got to be a Vulcan with the very rare ability to use mental powers at range (even being able to form a group telepathic experience).
- Got to be a Vulcan who could successfully be an emotional Vulcan without going batshit about it.
- Got to realize his error and nobly sacrificed himself to buy those he led into peril some time.
- May actually have been killed by a direct photon torpedo strike (how badass a death is that?)

Scotty
- Got to be a good man and show self control while Uhura was ready to do anything for him.
- Got to have at least one funny moment that he doesn't usually get to have.

Kirk
- Couldn't keep his shit together and fell off a mountain.
- Got to fight a cat lady.
- Did not get to love on a cat lady or the pretty Romulan lady.
- Walked into an ambush.
- Lost control of the Enterprise to a happy Vulcan and a group of dirt farmers with bad dentistry and no local outlet for nice clothes.
- Tried to send out a message and tipped off an angry Klingon.
- Had the Enterprise gently handed back to him instead of being able to reclaim it.
- Got shot at by a mysterious energy monster that he couldn't even begin to fight.

How is this all about Kirk?

I Am Ultra Narcissus.

stovokor2000-A

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POSTS: 2001

Report this Feb. 25 2013, 1:32 pm

Quote: johnd777 @ Feb. 24 2013, 5:34 pm

>

>Personally, I think Bill was trying to get back to the TOS roots. All Vulcans were not Spock look alikes. He himself was in Vulcan make up in the Enterprise Incident.


 


Romulan make up, not Vulcan


Photobucket

2takesfrakes

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POSTS: 3683

Report this Feb. 26 2013, 6:18 am

leroybrock


Nimoy established the pattern of these movies,
where the Second Banannas got more stuff to do,
with STAR TREK III. In STAR TREK V, however ...
the stuff they were given to do made them appear
foolish, or worse. Scotty's hitting his head, etc.


Uhura was far too old and bloated to turn anyone
one with a fan dance. Her romance with Scotty was
designed to give them busy work, whilst the triad
churned the plot, such as it is. Although Uhura
does end up committing mutiny with Sulu & Chekov.


Sybok said it himself: "I don't CONTROL minds ...
I FREE them (of anguish)." So ... Shatner had his co-
stars all commit mutiny so he, ALONE, could save the
day! And only Nimoy and DeForest had enough clout with
the franchise to refuse to have their characters mutiny.
But, originally, shatner even had them willingly follow Sybok.


Bones' pain was very "made-for-TV" and came off poorly.
Spock's pain was completely absurd. And the rest of the
cast were too unimportant for Shatner to bother showing
us their problems. And we never saw Kirk's because, well
... only KIRK can DEFY Sybok, without the support of anyone.


And that infamous campfire scene sucks. It only SEEMS to
be "good" in comparison to the rest of this crappy movie.
On its own it is very poorly written, the corny dialogue and
interaction is rubbish. Not to mention torturing us with all of
their rotten singing. Shatner's too goofy to direct a feature.


Blockman

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 520

Report this Feb. 26 2013, 7:07 am

Quote: 2takesfrakes

"Sybok said it himself: "I don't CONTROL minds ...
I FREE them (of anguish)." So ... Shatner had his co-
stars all commit mutiny so he, ALONE, could save the
day! And only Nimoy and DeForest had enough clout with
the franchise to refuse to have their characters mutiny.
But, originally, shatner even had them willingly follow Sybok.

Bones' pain was very "made-for-TV" and came off poorly.
Spock's pain was completely absurd. And the rest of the
cast were too unimportant for Shatner to bother showing
us their problems. And we never saw Kirk's because, well
... only KIRK can DEFY Sybok, without the support of anyone.

And that infamous campfire scene sucks. It only SEEMS to
be "good" in comparison to the rest of this crappy movie.
On its own it is very poorly written, the corny dialogue and
interaction is rubbish. Not to mention torturing us with all of
their rotten singing. Shatner's too goofy to direct a feature."


----------


Ohhhhh man... Now this is going to start some discussion now.


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