Star Trek

After watching TOS from the begining recently, A few one-liners from Bones made me laugh. Feel free to add any one-liners you can think of.

I had to scout through http://www.chakoteya.net/ to find the ones I was looking for, which may also help anyone interested.

The Devil in the Dark: season 1, episode 25

After beaming down to the mining tunnels of Janus VI to inspect the Horta.

MCCOY: You can't be serious. That thing is virtually made out of stone! 

KIRK: Help it. Treat it. 

MCCOY: I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer. (Great Line!)

The Changeling: season 2, episode 3

After beaming aboard and failing to scan Nomad for alien crew!

SPOCK: Negative, Captain. It has a protective screen. I cannot get through. 

MCCOY: What do we do now, go up and knock? (another great Line!) 

The City On The Edge of Forever

after Kirk and Spock are stopped after stealing the clothes by the cop

Kirk: I see you've noticed the ears.  They are actually easy to explain.

Spock: Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child-

Kirk: The unfortunate accident he had as a child: He caught his head in a mechanical...rice picker.

"I'm a doctor, not a (whatever)!"

"He/she/it's dead, Jim." (Obviously)

"Jim!" (End of "Amok Time". Favorite Trek moment ever.)

SPOCK: Captain, you are aware of the biblical story of Genesis.
KIRK: Yes, of course I'm aware of it. Adam and Eve tasted the apple and as a result were driven out of paradise.
SPOCK: Precisely, Captain, and in a manner of speaking, we have given the people of Vaal the apple, the knowledge of good and evil if you will, as a result of which they too have been driven out of paradise.
KIRK: Doctor, do I understand him correctly? Are you casting me in the role of Satan?
SPOCK: Not at all, Captain.
KIRK: Is there anyone on this ship who even remotely looks like Satan?
(McCoy and Kirk walk around Spock. McCoy is gazing intently at his ears.)
SPOCK: I am not aware of anyone who fits that description, Captain.
KIRK: No, Mister Spock. I didn't think you would be.  (From the end of "The Apple".)

 That Which Survives

SCOTTY: IT'S USELESS, AND THERE'S NO QUESTION, IT'S DELIBERATE

SPOCK: SABOTAGE

SCOTTY: AYE, AND A THOROUGH JOB. THE SYSTEM'S FOOLPROOF. WHOEVER MURDERED WATKINS SABOTAGED THIS.

SPOCK: YOU SAID IT WAS FUSED. HOW?

SCOTTY: WELL, THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME

SPOCK: "WORRIES," MR. SCOTT?

SCOTTY: WELL, IT'S FUSED ALL RIGHT, BUT IT WOULD TAKE ALL THE POWER OF OUR MAIN PHASER BANKS TO DO IT

SPOCK: INTERESTING

SCOTTY: I FIND NOTHING INTERESTING IN THE FACT THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO BLOW UP

SPOCK: NO, BUT THE METHOD IS FASCINATING.

I love Scotty's quote there

That Which Survives

SPOCK: MR. SCOTT, WHAT IS YOUR SITUATION?

SCOTTY: IT'S HARD TO SEE. THERE'S SO MUCH DISTURBANCE THAT ANY ATTEMPT TO GET AT THE FLOW WOULD RUPTURE THE MAGNETIC FIELD.

SPOCK: YOU HAVE EIGHT MINUTES, 41 SECONDS

SCOTTY: I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. I DON'T NEED A BLOOMING CUCKOO CLOCK.