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Yes, it's finally time... the USS Chuck Norris

star.idf

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5

Report this Dec. 31 2011, 12:06 am

That's right, the most awesome ship ever is finally here:


 


http://ships.independencefleet.com/ChuckNorris.php/main/join


 


A few facts:


 


* The USS Chuck Norris is Star Fleet's only ship named after a living person.
* The USS Chuck Norris is the only starship that has a roundhouse kick in its weapons arsenal.
* The USS Chuck Norris doesn't carry photon torpedoes.  Opening hailing frequencies usually does the trick.
* Captain Picard was offered command of the USS Chuck Norris, but turned it down because he wanted to seek out new life, not kill it.
* Captain Kirk was offered command of the USS Chuck Norris, but turned it down because Chuck Norris told him to.
* Captain Archer wasn't offered command of the USS Chuck Norris.  He was too young.
* The USS Chuck Norris broke the starship speed record.  Its warp engines were installed the next day.
* The USS Chuck Norris rarely engages its engines.  Its transporter range is the entire universe.
* Q once tried to appear on the bridge of the USS Chuck Norris.  He's still in the brig.
* The USS Chuck Norris has never raised its shields.  No one would dare fire on the Chuck Norris.
* The Borg once tried to assimilate the USS Chuck Norris.  Their collective consciousness is now Chuck Norris's.
* The USS Chuck Norris doesn't have a life support system.  It doesn't need a crew.
* The USS Chuck Norris doesn't have a subspace communications system.  Its iPhone (version 1) still seems to be working fine.
* The USS Chuck Norris launched.  The Q continuum surrendered to the Federation the next day.
* The USS Chuck Norris doesn't use phasers.  Its roundhouse kick is much more effective, and instantly deadly.

cowgirlcadet

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 788

Report this Dec. 31 2011, 10:42 am

Sounds like somebody is hung up on Chuck Norris.


So what would Spock do if offered a position aboard the USS Chuck Norris?

star.idf

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5

Report this Dec. 31 2011, 1:27 pm

I guess we'll never know... but you're free to take any position. 

the bungalo bill

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 2308

Report this Dec. 31 2011, 7:25 pm

He'd be dead very soon- no life support.

OneDamnMinuteAdmiral

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 1401

Report this Jan. 02 2012, 8:37 am

The USS Chuck Norris can travel 2 times the speed of infinity.


Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?

Vulcan1981

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 462

Report this Jan. 02 2012, 11:21 pm

This is hilarious and kinda cool! What class, Akira? Defiant? Or is there a new Chuck Norris class? I'd serve on it,lol.


"Comforting words. Use them next time instead of "resistance is futile". You may elicit a few volunteers."- Seven of Nine

cowgirlcadet

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 788

Report this Jan. 10 2012, 9:35 pm

So I'm assuming this means Chuck Norris is a Trekkie?

guillermo.mejía

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 2852

Report this Jan. 13 2012, 8:54 am

The USS Chuck Norris broke the starship speed record.  Its warp engines were installed the next day.


The USS Chuck Norris doesn't carry photon torpedoes.  Opening hailing frequencies usually does the trick.


These two made me laugh.

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