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Short Attention Span Theatre


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Report this Mar. 17 2010, 10:05 pm

good ones ENT19 :D

I liked all them including yours Grigori :)
(PS smilies showing up at bottom of page is really annoying! what's with that? ) sorry...


Vulcans: Yo Enterprise!
Archer: happy Vulcans? its gonna snow in space!

Tanek: mmm chicken
T'Pol: you have no logic
Tanek: blah blah blah

Tolaris: why do you stay with these humans?
T'Pol: those are my orders
Tolaris: I think it's your emotions
T'Pol: no
Tolaris: your sexy
T'Pol: goodnight

Kov: so football is not a battle to the death?
Trip: haha no, hey what about Vulcan mating?
Kov: Vulcan's mate once every 7 years
Trip: 7 years! that's whacked!

Phlox: your neurons are hyper stimulated!
T'Pol: I didn't meditate so, I dreamed
Phlox: no kidding, easy on the hot sauce there T'Pol

Tolaris: what did you dream about?
T'Pol: (thinking: your hands all over my body) Um... music, I dreamed about music

Admiral Gump: Tell that Vulcan whats-his-name to call up his dad
Archer: Kov, sorry but your dad's very ill
Kov: my father's a cranky old fart screw him

Tolaris: lets do a mind-meld are you ready?
T'Pol: here goes nothing
Tolaris: ooh, bad girl, leaving the compound at night.
T'Pol: I dont wanna do this anymore
Tolaris: ARRRG you must obey me!
T'Pol: GET OUTA HERE!!!! (T'Pol to sickbay... Tolaris apparently don't got it like Spock)

Trip: so this chick I could'a laid, it never happened...
Kov: your stories are truly inspiring Trip.

Archer: hey how ya doin' Tolaris?
Tolaris: Im okay
Arhcer: really? heheh I'm really glad to see your doin' okay. heheh ...your sure your okay?
Tolaris: Im fine
Arhcer: well thats good to hear, good to hear. ...hey I'm glad to hear you're doin' okay Tolaris
Tolaris: okie-dokie I'm gonna go...
Archer: I don't think so buddy, you hurt T'Pol, I hurt you
Tolaris: ROAR
(throws Archer across the room)
Archer: I'd say you need to do some meditating

T'Pol: Captain... do you dream?
Archer: of course...
T'Pol: are they pleasant?
Archer: you bet
T'Pol: I envy you
Archer: (thinking: not if you knew what I was dreaming about)
Archer leaves, smiling


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Report this Mar. 17 2010, 10:09 pm

Two in one evening--yea!

I look the loose style both of you have taken on these episodes. Very clever.


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 12:06 am

Quote (grigori @ Mar. 17 2010, 9:41 pm)
...didn't anyone like MY Harbinger? :O :blush:

What page?


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 12:51 pm

I have, like, 4 of them on page 3 that went unnoticed...then I bumped the thread for you new people to contribute! :)


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 2:14 pm

Quote (grigori @ Feb. 10 2010, 6:04 pm)
REED: You might think you can go over my head to the Captain, but you have no idea what an a$$hole I can be.
HAYES: (fumes silently)

TUCKER: She won't wanna stop touching my behind.
T'POL: I touched you first.
TUCKER: What are we talking about again?

T'POL: Did the Doctor tell you you are not to touch Commander Tucker any more?
COLE: What?

T'POL: Meow.
COLE: What?
T'POL: I thought you said "meow". I responded according to human custom.

REED: #@! off. I heard you got into trouble touching Cole so now T'Pol has to fix her up the same
way you've been touching T'Pol in her quarters--
TUCKER: #@! off.

TUCKER: So what, you're jealous?
T'POL: You're attracted to me?
TUCKER: What? Are you attracted to me?
T'POL: I asked you first.
TUCKER: I asked you first.
T'POL: What?
TUCKER: I didn't say nothin'. (she drops her robe) What the hell?
T'POL: I want you to touch my behind.

REED: Dammit, I shot him and nothing happened!
HAYES: Dammit, I shot him and nothing happened!
REED: But we'll toast his crumpet in Engineering, Captain.

TUCKER: Oh, okay. As long as we can keep on touching each other.
T'POL: Undoubtedly.

ARCHER: It's the middle of an emergency, and the last thing I need to hear is that two of my
officers have lost all control and jumped each other.
REED: I know, sir. It's shocking, the way the Commander and Sub-Commander--

WAY better than mine was! LOL! :laugh:


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 2:41 pm

yes very good one Grigori. the ending is nice

(I admit when I first saw this thread I read over these too quickly cause I was going ooh ooh! let me do one!!! :D )


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 6:25 pm

Quote (Enterprise19 @ Mar. 18 2010, 2:14 pm)
WAY better than mine was! LOL! :laugh:

Why thank you. :) Even if I had to be obvious. I thought the episode was, on many levels, about passions finally broiling over, so I thought the repeated "fumes silently" gave it that same air.


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 7:32 pm

Observer Effect

MALCOLM: I love this primitive human game.
TRAVIS: Too bad these primitive beings don't have long enough life spans to matter.
MALCOLM: You're not allowed to get interested in them.
TRAVIS: I wonder who's gonna die.
MALCOLM: We'll see in a couple hours.

HOSHI: Yuck. Nasty Klingons.
TRIP: Bored already?
HOSHI: No, but this is gross!
TRIP: *cough* So is the air.
ARCHER: How was it?
TRIP: Just a bunch of crap.
HOSHI: And a bathroom.
TRIP: ?:p
ARCHER: Ok, bye.
TRIP: *cough cough cough*
HOSHI: Commander!
TRIP: *cough* I'm gonna lie on the floor even though it's just coughing. *cough*
HOSHI: I need Phlox!
ARCHER: Can you come into the launch bay?
HOSHI: Never done it, but sure!

PHLOX: How are you?
TRIP: I'm doing great! How do you THINK?
PHLOX: What about you, Hoshi?
HOSHI: ?:sick:
TRIP: Not too well, I'm guessing.
ARCHER: What's wrong with them?
PHLOX: I don't see anything on the scans.
ARCHER: That's bad.

MALCOLM: Two people are sick.
TRAVIS: We should talk with the doctor and patients.
MALCOLM: Phlox how is blood going to help find a cure for the disease?
PHLOX: I don't know. What's wrong?
MALCOLM: I have a headache. How are you treating this?
PHLOX: I'm busy now leave!

TRAVIS: How are you doing? What did Phlox give you? Have you ever been sick?
TRIP: We're busy now leave!

PHLOX: It's a silicon virus.
ARCHER: But humanoids are carbon-based.
PHLOX: It was brought from a meteor. Trip and Hoshi only have 5 hours to live.

TRIP: This looks like my Starfleet dorm room. I was troublemaker.
HOSHI: Me too. That's why I got kicked out.
TRIP: And.....?
HOSHI: I didn't like my commanding officer.
TRIP: And.....?
HOSHI: Broke his arm.
HOSHI: I was playing poker. He tried to mess up a game and I'm a black belt.
TRIP: How are you here if you're not in Starfleet anymore?
HOSHI: I'm on probation, and you know the rest.

TRIP: Go away.
ARCHER: It's me, Trip.
TRIP: Hoshi's sleeping. At least we don't have nausea anymore.
ARCHER: You have a silicon virus.
TRIP: We're gonna die.
ARCHER: Don't die on me.
TRIP: All the places I haven't seen...
ARCHER: Get some sleep(Trip's right, they're gonna die...)

TRAVIS: Did we make first contact with anyone?
MALCOLM: No, they were too dumb.
TRAVIS: Maybe humans are different.
MALCOLM: Yeah right.
TRAVIS: Archer cares about them.
MALCOLM: He'll probably kill the infected people in the end. They all do.
TRAVIS: Let's take over the doctor and science officer's bodies.
MALCOLM: If you want to be discovered, then okay.

TRIP: Can you speak a lot of languages?
HOSHI: No, I can only hear them.
TRIP: I'm so jealous.
HOSHI: Me too, you're like the smartest person I know.
TRIP: I'm okay, maybe.
HOSHI: Have you always been able to build warp engines and things?
TRIP: No, the opposite. I took everything apart when ?was little. Once I remove all the screws in the dining room table, and when my dad put the Thanksgiving turkey down, it fell apart.
HOSHI: How old were you?
TRIP: 24, 25.
HOSHI: Hey, how long have you two been standing there?
PHLOX: We were observing you.
TRIP: You should try to HELP us, not OBSERVE us.
T'POL: Let's go, Doctor.

T'POL: This radiation could weaken the virus.
PHLOX: It might kill Trip and Hoshi, but I could fix that.

HOSHI: O'phrit! Ipot'grah! Utheu!
TRIP: Hoshi, you can't get out.
HOSHI: Remember? I can speak a lot of languages.
TRIP: Hoshi!
ARCHER: How is Hoshi doing that?
MALCOLM: I can't stop her.
TRIP: Hoshi! Don't open that! We'll die!
HOSHI: What about my students?!
TRIP: We'll make it I promise.

PHLOX: I want you to sedate her with sonambutril.
TRIP: D@mn! Okay, anything else?
ARCHER: Now you.
TRIP: What if I never wake up?
PHLOX: Lie down, Commander. Good night.

PHLOX: Why are they awake?
TRIP: Humans aren't violent.
HOSHI: They are on the inside. They- someone's spying on us.
ARCHER: How did you find out about these aliens?
PHLOX: The brainwaves aren't human!
T'POL: He must be a Denobulan doctor.
PHLOX: What did you do to them?
T'POL: How did you know about us?
PHLOX: Sedated people can't wake up that fast.
T'POL: I apologize.
ARCHER: We could help them.
T'POL: No. Goodbye, Doctor. You're not going to remember anything about this at all.
PHLOX: @$$holes!

ARCHER: Can we move them to sickbay?
PHLOX: If we quarantine this deck.
ARCHER: Okay, let's go.
PHLOX: Hoshi's dying!
PHLOX: Put your EV suit on!
ARCHER: I don't need to live right now!
PHLOX: Clear!
ARCHER: Again!

MALCOLM: What the-?
TRAVIS: See? They surprised you.
MALCOLM: And they know that it's no use!
TRAVIS: We can stop this.
MALCOLM: It's not our fault!
TRAVIS: I think it is.

PHLOX: Clear!
ARCHER: Again!
PHLOX: It's too late, she's gone.
ARCHER: Put Trip on the biobed!
PHLOX: I'm sorry, the radiation treatment didn't work.
ARCHER: You better leave before you get infected.
PHLOX: I won't give up!

ARCHER: T'Pol, you're captain now. Don't let anyone else take that position. Good-bye.
T'POL: Tell me if Trip wakes up.
ARCHER:(He wont...)Okay.

(Trip dies)
ARCHER: :cry:
TRIP: I respect you so much.
ARCHER: ?:O Ghost!
TRIP: Calm down! I'm an Organian.
ARCHER: Why did you kill my officers?
TRIP: I wanted to help, but-
HOSHI: I told you not to do this!
TRIP: But humans are different!
HOSHI: How can you tell?!
ARCHER: Are they going to be dead when you leave?
HOSHI: Yes. We are leaving now. Enjoy your 5 hours!
TRIP: No. This man has showed compassion, and no other species has before.
HOSHI: Who cares?
ARCHER: You can show compassion by saving these two crew members.

ARCHER: Phlox, T'Pol, Trip and Hoshi are both awake. Can you please come down here?
PHLOX: Hoshi?!
ARCHER: I don't know how, either. Just come to sickbay!

PHLOX: I don't know how, but I guess the radiation worked after all. On all three of you!
ARCHER: Let's make sure that we warn others about this disease so that nobody dies again.

MALCOLM: We'll probably be fired for what we just did.
TRAVIS: I think we should make first contact.
MALCOLM: We better make it quick. These humans are very intelligent.


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 7:49 pm

Um... E19, isn't that kinda like the script for the episode?


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 7:54 pm

Quote (ViperMan2000 @ Mar. 18 2010, 7:49 pm)
Um... E19, isn't that kinda like the script for the episode?

I'm sorry. I haven't seen the episode in a few months, I don't know how I remembered all of that.


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Report this Mar. 18 2010, 8:14 pm

Quote (Enterprise19 @ Mar. 18 2010, 7:54 pm)
Quote (ViperMan2000 @ Mar. 18 2010, 7:49 pm)
Um... E19, isn't that kinda like the script for the episode?

I'm sorry. I haven't seen the episode in a few months, I don't know how I remembered all of that.

I think you actually came pretty close to what the actual episode said, too...


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Report this Mar. 31 2010, 1:27 am

Vox Sola

(Crew and aliens are striding down the corridor towards an exit. )
Kreetassan: *@#%^!
Archer: Huh?
Hoshi: He says "You eat like you mate."
Trip: *Hummmm, two of my favorite things, eating and mating...glances at T'Pol*
T'Pol: *Mating with food, I might learn to like touching my food then...glances at Trip*
Kreetassan: *Blows a raspberry at the crew*
Archer: Bye.   *mopes for the rest of the day*
Creature: *Throws out a thumb and hitches a ride.*

Hoshi: Dang, my ears are burning!
T'Pol: Your job...your responsibility.
Hoshi and T'Pol: *reeeaaarrrwwww, hiss hiss*
Trip: Whadda ya think?
T'Pol: No way.
Trip: Awwww, that's ok, he ain't heavy, he's my brother.
T'Pol: Your funeral.

(Ready Room)
Archer: fffffluuuutttttzzzzz
Trip: Water polo?
Archer: I wuv you bunches!

Travis: Movie?
Reed: Things blow up...I?m in!
Hoshi: My ears are burning.
Creature: *Ease on down, ease on down the road! *
Rostov: Come on, let's go!
Kelly: Back to work.
Archer: Go Stanford!
Rostov and Kelly: Ahhhhh, help Captain!
Archer: Whaaaaa? Woooooaaaaahhhh.
Trip: I got ya, Cap'n...whoops, maybe not, wooaaah, get outtahere!

T'Pol: Got to talk with creature.
Hoshi: I'm on it?..who's good at calculus?
Reed: I'm gonna zap it.
Phlox: No, it's my new best friend.

Archer: Trip, I see you thinking about T'Pol. (ggrrrooowwwlll)
Trip: Cap'n, I see YOU thinkin' about T'Pol. (GRRROOWWWLLL)

Travis: Hey, we found you! Creature attack here.
Kreetassan: Not our fault. But here are the coordinates.
Travis: Humble apologies..*whoooohoooo, I'm captain for a minute! *

Reed: Whhhooo, hhoooooo, force field!
Hoshi: Hey there Slime-Mo, let our people go.
Creature: Taking me home, sure no problem.
T'Pol: *Well the captain seems ok, (looks over at Trip), huuummmm, this slimy stuff gives me some ideas..back to decon with you, Mr. Tucker! *

(Alien planet)

Reed, Phlox, T'Pol and Hoshi: There you go.
Creature: MAMA!!!

The End


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Report this Mar. 31 2010, 7:25 am

:D tx tish for a new one!


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Report this Jan. 15 2011, 7:01 pm

AH, here it is! Right where we left it. Bazinga.

Well...I'm here

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