Star Trek

It suddenly began to dawn upon Spock who Daniels was.

"I was later written off for dead at Veridian III. But I have since lived many long and prosperous lives, Spock. It's me... Jim Kirk. Or the essence of me. In the 31st century old bodies can be replaced with new ones using technology similar to the transporter. I have been many people too. The final frontier of the 31st Century was the temporal cold war. The fractures in the universe from the time travel of others necessitated the cold war. The very fiber of the universe has so thinly worn and the fractures so erratic it was closer to causing the entire thing to unravel than most were aware.

WHY?!! Daniels never had even half the charisma of Kirk, and Kirk probably would have told someone before now. There's too many ideas trying to fit inside this story for me, time travel/universe hopping, Doomsday Machine, Kirk 'back'..

Point well taken.

But Kirk could have learned to tone it down a bit.

And movies are a converging of many plots. Too many for some not enough for others.

I think it solves the "bring Kirk back" movement leaving off with Prime and Kirk/Daniels in a riding off into the sunset finale rather than the pile of rocks on Veridian III...

But to each his own. Thanks for the input just the same.  

Kirk being in the Nexis along with Soran, Guinan, and Picard...

If you think about it, Kirk was the only Star Trek regular killed off. All else rode off into the sunset....

Your story sounds similar to one of the new Trek Movie books that have been delayed until after the sequel comes out. They have one that deals with Prime Spock and what Starfleet is deciding to do with him.

http://trekmovie.com/2010....er-2010

http://trekmovie.com/2010....-summer

Star Trek: The Hazards of Concealing
by Greg Cox

An all-new adventure featuring the new Enterprise crew from New York Times bestselling author Greg Cox.

The events of the recent movie have left one important loose end: the elder Spock from the 24th century. His knowledge of both technology and future events makes him one of the most important strategic assets in the galaxy. Starfleet Command wants Ambassador Spock to rejoin Starfleet and share that information with them, but Spock is reluctant to interfere with the unfolding of the new timeline. Will he be able to escape a sinister plan wrought by the enemies of the Federation, or will their quest to exploit Spock?s wisdom succeed, with disastrous consequences?

When is someone going to realize that fan stories written on an internet board are not very good?

Pretty much ANY sequel idea that re-uses stuff from the original series and / or crosses over with characters from the spin-off series are automatically things I gloss over with no interest.

If I ever see an original idea that isn't foolishly over-complicated and over-saturated with fanboy crossover garbage, I'll probably have a heart attack and die on the spot.

"HAY, I have dis grate idea for a SEQUAL!!! Cap'n Janeway comes back in time with Q to try to stop the meeting between Khan and Kirk, but realizes the timeline has been changed by Nero, so she enlists the help of Guinan and the First Federation ship Fesarius to go back further in time and find T'Pol and Archer, but this starts a galactic war between the Gorn and the Dominion which sends Kirk and Prime Spock crashing through infinite dimensions!!! Fortunately, nuSpock and Tuvok are able to mind-meld and discover that the whole problem is that "Q" is not really Q...it's Gorgon the Friendly Angel in disguise!!! Fortunately, Prime Sulu shows up (George Takei would be cast) and defeats Gorgon...but not before nuKirk and nuSpock have to defeat the Gorn / Dominion alliance in a stolen Tholian battlecruiser that the Vulcan refugees had stolen during their pilgrimage to a new home!!"

Quote (Vger23 @ Jan. 25 2010, 11:58 am)

When is someone going to realize that fan stories written on an internet board are not very good? Pretty much ANY sequel idea that re-uses stuff from the original series and / or crosses over with characters from the spin-off series are automatically things I gloss over with no interest. If I ever see an original idea that isn't foolishly over-complicated and over-saturated with fanboy crossover garbage, I'll probably have a heart attack and die on the spot. "HAY, I have dis grate idea for a SEQUAL!!! Cap'n Janeway comes back in time with Q to try to stop the meeting between Khan and Kirk, but realizes the timeline has been changed by Nero, so she enlists the help of Guinan and the First Federation ship Fesarius to go back further in time and find T'Pol and Archer, but this starts a galactic war between the Gorn and the Dominion which sends Kirk and Prime Spock crashing through infinite dimensions!!! Fortunately, nuSpock and Tuvok are able to mind-meld and discover that the whole problem is that "Q" is not really Q...it's Gorgon the Friendly Angel in disguise!!! Fortunately, Prime Sulu shows up (George Takei would be cast) and defeats Gorgon...but not before nuKirk and nuSpock have to defeat the Gorn / Dominion alliance in a stolen Tholian battlecruiser that the Vulcan refugees had stolen during their pilgrimage to a new home!!"

Can't win every critic over.

Quote (TrekFan1701E @ Jan. 25 2010, 11:05 am)

Your story sounds similar to one of the new Trek Movie books that have been delayed until after the sequel comes out. They have one that deals with Prime Spock and what Starfleet is deciding to do with him. http://trekmovie.com/2010....er-2010 http://trekmovie.com/2010....-summer Star Trek: The Hazards of Concealing by Greg Cox An all-new adventure featuring the new Enterprise crew from New York Times bestselling author Greg Cox. The events of the recent movie have left one important loose end: the elder Spock from the 24th century. His knowledge of both technology and future events makes him one of the most important strategic assets in the galaxy. Starfleet Command wants Ambassador Spock to rejoin Starfleet and share that information with them, but Spock is reluctant to interfere with the unfolding of the new timeline. Will he be able to escape a sinister plan wrought by the enemies of the Federation, or will their quest to exploit Spock?s wisdom succeed, with disastrous consequences?

Hmmm... that is a missing element in my storyline... the strategic advantage of picking Prime's Brain... a ne twist on TOS episode Spock's Brain...

LOL

So, Prime was taken to Ursa Minor ostensibly to be researched but in reality they are trying to convince him to give up the future technology secrets to kick the Romulan fannies clear to the next quadrant. Hmmm

Quote (johnd777 @ Jan. 26 2010, 9:39 pm)

Quote (Vger23 @ Jan. 25 2010, 11:58 am) When is someone going to realize that fan stories written on an internet board are not very good? Pretty much ANY sequel idea that re-uses stuff from the original series and / or crosses over with characters from the spin-off series are automatically things I gloss over with no interest. If I ever see an original idea that isn't foolishly over-complicated and over-saturated with fanboy crossover garbage, I'll probably have a heart attack and die on the spot. "HAY, I have dis grate idea for a SEQUAL!!! Cap'n Janeway comes back in time with Q to try to stop the meeting between Khan and Kirk, but realizes the timeline has been changed by Nero, so she enlists the help of Guinan and the First Federation ship Fesarius to go back further in time and find T'Pol and Archer, but this starts a galactic war between the Gorn and the Dominion which sends Kirk and Prime Spock crashing through infinite dimensions!!! Fortunately, nuSpock and Tuvok are able to mind-meld and discover that the whole problem is that "Q" is not really Q...it's Gorgon the Friendly Angel in disguise!!! Fortunately, Prime Sulu shows up (George Takei would be cast) and defeats Gorgon...but not before nuKirk and nuSpock have to defeat the Gorn / Dominion alliance in a stolen Tholian battlecruiser that the Vulcan refugees had stolen during their pilgrimage to a new home!!" Can't win every critic over.

All I'm trying to say is that if you have a general story concept or idea, try to infuse it with NEW thoughts, characters, aliens, and scenarios rather than just throw all the existing stuff into a big bag, mix it up, and then dump it all on the table.

If you're creative and ambitious enough to put the time in (as you clearly are) then don't sell yourself short by writing fanboy crossover wank.

Sometimes, I feel like Trek fans make stories about Star Trek by taking all the existing names of characters, alien races, planets, and starships and putting them on refrigerator magnets like people have in their homes and just building whatever they can based off that. It looks something like this:






...except the words are usually these:

Kirk
Spock
Khan
Spock Prime
Gorn
Romulan
Q
Voyager
Archer and Tripp
The Doomsday Machine
Vulcan
Enterprise
nuSpock
Gary Mitchell
The Dominion
Dr. Bashir
time travel
temporal vortex
Riker and Troi
Defiant
Tholians
Romulan Senate
intergalactic war
Species 8472

...mixed in with the standard verbs like "discover, travel, meet, use, fly, attack, scan, negotiate, etc."

It's just not good storytelling, in my humble opinion.

And you are certainly entitled to your oppinion, and I thank you for the critique. My premise was, however, what would Prime have to go on unless the Doomsday episode repeated itself but in a different way and leading him to the conclusion that his presence in that universe dooms that universe to a fate his home universe was spared time after time.

The one-line plot of my storyline is establish the reboot Star Trek as the official Star Trek henceforth... to break from the old and to get rid of hanging complications (like Spock Prime) by reparing the fractured timeline.

Kind of a long one-liner, but a one-liner just the same.

Alternative elements go back as far as the first mirror universe concept. In ST 2009 Pike was in a wheelchair for different reasons than TOS. Vulcan did not make it to the 24th century. etc. etc.

But the familiar settings are necessary. Fans have to have them or it will take another number of years before they catch on and by then Star Trek will be canceled  or not remade.

I agree cliche elements like "I have been and always shall be your friend," in ST 2009 was campy as it gets and JJ no doubt would cut it and put in something better.

BUT!

How brilliant was JJ for explaining why Kirk called McCoy "Bones."

Your critique would condemn this as well?

Personally I am looking forward to the script after this one. Where the new frontiers in other galaxies are opened up by the new trans-warpdrive.

Maybe I should not divulge this, but I had the privilege of chauffeuring Robert Picardo during the 2008 San Diego Comic Con convention. And we had a very nice chat about science fiction. He really is into sci fi, btw, he's not in it just to draw a paycheck.

We discussed the hallmark ST Episodes like Yesterday's Enterprise, Darmok, and Message in a Bottle (his personal favorite of the VOY episodes he was in). He came up with the lines between himself and the new holographic doctor about breathing down his neck. It was inspired.

"The Doctor: Stop breathing down my neck!
EMH-2 Dr. Bradley: My breathing is merely a simulation.
The Doctor: So is my neck. Stop it anyway! "

But what I am driving at is there are movies, episodes, etc. that are the stuff great science fiction is made of...

There must needs be, imho, a break away / break out follow up to establish the reboot as the new sheriff in town... maybe not... but that's how I see it... and the one after that must be another audience grabber like ST 2009 was but this time of that same stuff great science fiction is made of...

I see Montgomery Scott taking his transporter technology to a greater level with intergalactic transport using the singularity at the center of the galaxies as a focusing array to aim or bounce off (and gain the needed energy boost) to send passengers and cargo to any galaxy anywhere.



Entire fleets and mobile space stations could be transported. And I envision a as Star Trek carrier fleet escorted by various types of starships... the carriers have a similar design to the Olympic class but much larger with a detachable sphere section top operate as a battle ship / battle station leaving the secondary hull as a space station where the fighters and interceptors are housed.

Relay beaming via the subspace buoy net... could beam a person across the galaxy as long as there are buoys and relays along the net and the intergalactic beaming could be platform to platform or through the galactic singularity center to any place in the universe...



GET DOWN!

And get me a towel!

And then a sandwich.

Body suit was the invention of a little old woman on Taurus 2 who was tired of feeling cold all the time. Unlike the old body suits which were flesh tone netting or thin material to cover one's business... this actually performed like an environmental suit covering usually all but head and hands.

In some versions it covered all and could function for a limited time as an environmental suit so long as one had a source of air... often a device small to fit in a pocket... the oxygen breathing apparatus (oba) would actually create breathable air from the molecules available even in space... once primed....

People out in the fleet grew so accustomed to the body suit they hardly noticed it. It was often hard to see it matched skin tone so precisely. It also had a feature which filtered body fluids so one would not have to take it off for sonic bathing as often.

About the only thing it did not do was toilet functions as that was too much concentrated bodily fluid all at once. There was something so undignified about living in the 23rd century and still having to go to the bathroom like lower animals....

Jim Kirk was not a religious man, but often mused himself with the thought that man's still having to respond to the call of the wild was God's way of reminding man that he is still a pip squeak in the grand scale of things.

His new assignment, Commander USS Enterprise, was more than an accomplishment he'd advanced to years before regulations typically mandated. It was his passion. And spending a few moments off the bridge wing in the head was a test of his patience for he could not wait to get back to that center seat...

...the one on the bridge...

James Tiberius was the consummate thrill seeker and achiever. If his schoolmates wanted to see someone take a dare, plunge headlong into the jaws of death and somehow survive... Jimmy K. was your boy. As he crew, he was less likely to take dares that were just plain stupid. But he did take them.

Captain Pike understood Jim from reading his bio. And he dared him to do better than his late father George, which he did in spades.

But there was a side of Jim Kirk that would always race against time, death, on occasion needlessly. Earlier that morning, he prepared coffee using a priceless antique Mr. Coffee coffee maker found in some abandoned warehouse somewhere. He like it and used it in his stateroom. "Coffee with the Captain" was that much more novel because of it. But true to his nature, Jim would start the boiling process before he'd finish pouring in the water to try to beat the coffee maker before the first drip of coffee hit the heating plate.