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The Best/Funniest Quote

RemkeLovesKirk

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POSTS: 367

Report this Nov. 30 2009, 3:59 pm

there are a lot of qoutes in the serie that are funny or hystorical, but which one do you like the most and which one is hystorycal for the person Kirk, Bones Spock.

i like this one from Fridays Child:
Captain James T. Kirk: How did you arrange to touch her, Bones, give her a happy pill?
McCoy: No, a right cross.
Captain James T. Kirk: I've never seen that in a medical book.
McCoy: It's in mine from now on

and from Charley X:
Charlie Evans: Is that a girl?
Captain James T. Kirk: That's a girl

and i like this one from the movie TVH:
*[Kirk and Spock enter a bus headed for the aquarium... only to exit the bus about 2 seconds later]
Spock: [to Kirk] What does it mean, "exact change"?
*Dr. Gillian Taylor: Don't tell me, you're from outer space.
Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space.

The Enemy Within:
*Sulu: I think we should give room service another call. That coffee's taking too long.
*Sulu: We're using hand phasers to heat the rocks. One phaser quit on us, three still operating. Any possibility of getting us back aboard before the skiing season opens down here?

What Are Little Girls Made Of? :
*Spock: Frankly, I was rather dismayed by your use of the term "half-breed", captain. You must admit it is an unsophisticated expression.
Capt. Kirk: I'll remember that, Mr Spock. The next time I find myself in a similar situation.

The Corbomite Maneuver :
*Bones: [to himself] If I jumped every time a light came on around here, I'd end up talking to myself.

Shore Leave:
*Captain James T. Kirk: Brace front, everyone. Don't talk. Don't breathe. Don't think. You're at attention. Concentrate on that

Mirrorgirl

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Report this Nov. 30 2009, 8:39 pm

The Trouble with Tribbles:

BARIS: And now Captain, I want all available security guards. I want them posted around the storage compartments.
KIRK: Storage compartments? Storage compartments?
DARVIN: The storage compartments containing the quadrotriticale.
KIRK: What? What? What's quadrotriticale?

and

SPOCK: (stroking a tribble) A most curious creature, Captain. Its trilling seems to have a tranquillising effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am immune to its effect

and

KIRK: Who put the tribbles in the quadrotriticale?

And the rest of the script from 'The Trouble with Tribbles' it's a total hoot from beginning to end.

WilburWood

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POSTS: 21509

Report this Nov. 30 2009, 9:03 pm

Quote (RemkeLovesKirk @ Nov. 30 2009, 3:59 pm)
i like this one from Fridays Child:
Captain James T. Kirk: How did you arrange to touch her, Bones, give her a happy pill?
McCoy: No, a right cross.
Captain James T. Kirk: I've never seen that in a medical book.
McCoy: It's in mine from now on

Also a great exchange from that ep:

:D

Mirrorgirl

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Report this Nov. 30 2009, 9:18 pm

More from 'Tribbles'

MCCOY: What's the matter, Spock?
SPOCK: There's something disquieting about these creatures.
MCCOY: Don't tell me you've got a feeling.
SPOCK: Don't be insulting, Doctor. They remind me of the lilies of the field. They toil not, neither do they spin. But they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them.
MCCOY: Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice, soft, and furry, and they make a pleasant sound.
SPOCK: So would an ermine violin, but I see no advantage in having one.
MCCOY: It's a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're attractive in some way.
SPOCK: Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I've trained myself to put up with practically anything.
MCCOY: Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there's one thing that I have discovered.
SPOCK: What is that, Doctor?
MCCOY: I like them better than I like you.
SPOCK: Doctor?
MCCOY: Yes?
SPOCK: They do have one redeeming characteristic.
MCCOY: What's that?
SPOCK: They do not talk too much. If you'll excuse me, sir.

Just about the funniest scene they ever had together :cool:

AdvisingElf

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Report this Dec. 01 2009, 2:51 pm

BARIS: I think you're taking this project far too lightly. (Not exact, but close)

KIRK:  On the contrary, Mr. Baris, I think of this project as very important.  It is YOU I take lightly.

------------
(From "A Piece of the Action")

SPOCK:  I'd advise youse to keep dialin', Oxmyx!  (with appropriate accent)

------------
(From "A Piece of the Action")

INSERT ENTIRE "FIZZBIN" CONVERSATION HERE

I work in state government (yes, I'm part of the problem) so I find this exceptionally funny (or sad, depending on my mood).

------------

KIRK: He caught his head in a mechanical...rice-picker.

-------------

SPOCK:  We must find some way to distract them (or something like that)

SCOTTY:  Well, I can think of one way, right off!

SCOTTY (to alien):  You're gonna need somethin' to wash that down with!

(later, in same episode)

Scotty:  It's...it's...green!

-------------

ALIEN FATHER:  Stop that whining at once!  Or you won't be permitted to make any more planets!

(This may sound "accidentally" funny, but I think it was intended to be corny.  It fits PERFECTLY in the episode.)

RemkeLovesKirk

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POSTS: 367

Report this Dec. 01 2009, 3:58 pm

The Naked Time, this one was funny:
Riley: (over shipwide intercom) This is Captain Riley, crew. I have some additional orders. In the future, all female crewmembers will wear their hair loosely about their shoulders. And use restraint in putting on your makeup. Women... women should not look made up. And now, crew, I will render "Kathleen" ONE MORE TIME!
Kirk: (muttering) Please, not again.

RemkeLovesKirk

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Report this Dec. 11 2009, 10:52 am

Platos Stepchilderen: its a nice one (they are not forced to say this)
Uhura: (forced into Captain Kirk's arms) I'm so frightened, Captain. I'm so very frightened.
Kirk: That's the way they want you to feel. Makes them think that they're alive.
Uhura: I know it, but... I wish I could stop trembling.
Kirk: Try not to think of them. (the Platonians laugh as they force them closer and closer together) Try...
Uhura: I'm thinking... I'm thinking of all the times on the Enterprise when I was scared to death... (they're forced to embrace) ...and I would see you so busy at your command, and I would hear your voice from all parts of the ship... and my fears would fade. And now they're making me tremble. But I'm not afraid. I am not afraid..

KeiraScott

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Report this Dec. 11 2009, 10:59 am

Quote (MarmaladeSkies @ Dec. 01 2009, 4:44 pm)
Quote (Mirrorgirl @ Nov. 30 2009, 6:18 pm)
More from 'Tribbles'

MCCOY: What's the matter, Spock?
SPOCK: There's something disquieting about these creatures.
MCCOY: Don't tell me you've got a feeling.
SPOCK: Don't be insulting, Doctor. They remind me of the lilies of the field. They toil not, neither do they spin. But they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them.
MCCOY: Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice, soft, and furry, and they make a pleasant sound.
SPOCK: So would an ermine violin, but I see no advantage in having one.
MCCOY: It's a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're attractive in some way.
SPOCK: Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I've trained myself to put up with practically anything.
MCCOY: Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there's one thing that I have discovered.
SPOCK: What is that, Doctor?
MCCOY: I like them better than I like you.
SPOCK: Doctor?
MCCOY: Yes?
SPOCK: They do have one redeeming characteristic.
MCCOY: What's that?
SPOCK: They do not talk too much. If you'll excuse me, sir.

Just about the funniest scene they ever had together :cool:

*cracks up*

:laugh: ¿:laugh: !!

:laugh her arse off;

BrotherofShran01

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POSTS: 23344

Report this Dec. 11 2009, 7:45 pm

Two of my favorite all time favorites from the trouble with tribbles episodes

Quote
KIRK: I don't know, sir. I want to know who threw the first punch. All right. You're all confined to quarters until I find out who started it. Dismissed. (the men file out) Scotty, not you. You were supposed to prevent trouble, Mister Scott.
SCOTT: Aye, Captain.
KIRK: Who threw the first punch, Scotty?
SCOTT: Um.
KIRK: Mister Scott?
SCOTT: I did, Captain.
KIRK: You did, Mister Scott? What caused it, Scotty?
SCOTT: They insulted us, sir.
KIRK: Must have been some insult.
SCOTT: Aye, it was.
KIRK: You threw the first punch.
SCOTT: Aye. Chekov wanted to, but I held him back.
KIRK: You held? Why did Chekov want to start a fight?
SCOTT: Well, the Klingon, sir. Is this off the record?
KIRK: No, this is not off the record.
SCOTT: Well, Captain, the Klingons called you, uh a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood.
KIRK: Is that all?
SCOTT: No, sir. They also compared you with a Denebian slime devil.
KIRK: I see.
SCOTT: And then they said you
KIRK: I get the picture, Scotty.
SCOTT: Yes, sir.
KIRK: After they said all this, that's when you hit the Klingons?
SCOTT: No, sir.
KIRK: No?
SCOTT: No, I didn't. You told us to avoid trouble.
KIRK: Oh, yes.
SCOTT: And I didn't see that it was worth fighting about. After all, we're big enough to take a few insults. Aren't we?
KIRK: What was it they said that started the fight?
SCOTT: They called the Enterprise a garbage scow, sir.
KIRK: I see. And that's when you hit the Klingons?
SCOTT: Yes, sir.
KIRK: You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise, not because they
SCOTT: Well, sir, this was a matter of pride.
KIRK: All right, Scotty. Dismissed. Scotty, you're restricted to quarters until further notice.
SCOTT: (big grin) Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. That'll give me a chance to catch up on my technical journals.

ssmukhi

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Report this Dec. 12 2009, 2:39 am

From Shore Leave:

Barrows : Don't peek!

McCoy: I'm a Doctor, when I peek it's in the line of duty!  :laugh:

WilburWood

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Report this Dec. 12 2009, 6:56 pm

KIRK: Bones. (starts to collapse.) No, no, I'm all right
(McCoy helps him onto a bed.)
MCCOY: If you keep arguing with your kindly family doctor, you're going to spend your next ten days right here. If you co-operate, you'll be out in two.
SPOCK: Doctor, I'll return to my station now.
MCCOY: You are at your station, Mister Spock.
KIRK: Doctor McCoy, I believe you're enjoying all this.
SPOCK: Indeed, Captain. I've never seen him look so happy.
MCCOY: Shut up! (to Kirk) Shh. Shh! (to camera) Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word.

Mirrorgirl

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Report this Dec. 12 2009, 7:19 pm

Quote (WilburWood @ Dec. 13 2009, 8:56 am)
KIRK: Bones. (starts to collapse.) No, no, I'm all right
(McCoy helps him onto a bed.)
MCCOY: If you keep arguing with your kindly family doctor, you're going to spend your next ten days right here. If you co-operate, you'll be out in two.
SPOCK: Doctor, I'll return to my station now.
MCCOY: You are at your station, Mister Spock.
KIRK: Doctor McCoy, I believe you're enjoying all this.
SPOCK: Indeed, Captain. I've never seen him look so happy.
MCCOY: Shut up! (to Kirk) Shh. Shh! (to camera) Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word.

Which only goes to prove how great a show Star Trek is  :logical:

What a great script and marvelous performances from everyone  :cool:

Candystar

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Report this Dec. 13 2009, 3:09 am

captain pike: as in all ships doctors are dirty old men!

LMAO

BrotherofShran01

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Report this Dec. 13 2009, 4:09 pm

"Call Chekov and tell him to send my stomach down."

   - McCoy, after rapidly descending into the interior of Sigma Draconis VI in an elevator.

ssmukhi

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POSTS: 65791

Report this Dec. 13 2009, 10:51 pm

Quote (MarmaladeSkies @ Dec. 13 2009, 4:35 pm)
Quote (ssmukhi @ Dec. 11 2009, 11:39 pm)
From Shore Leave:

Barrows : Don't peek!

McCoy: I'm a Doctor, when I peek it's in the line of duty! ?:laugh:

This .gif goes along with that:

Hmm, I'm sure you would be very dutiful...  ;)

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