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Why Data is the perfect man

OnHolodeckWithData

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POSTS: 134

Report this Jul. 21 2009, 12:23 am

I started listing all the reasons why Data is the perfect man, but I ran out of ideas. Can we hit 100?


He has an off switch
he does not have to be fed
he does not require sleep
he goes up and down on command
he cannot prematurely ejaculate
he knows where the G-spot is
and how to reach it
he enjoys costumes and role-playing
he cannot get you pregnant
he cannot pass STDs
he learns things the first time he hears them
he never forgets ANYTHING
he is a good father
he is an avid reader, and would happily discuss books with you
he has a sexy voice
he will not ask you for head
but he will let you give it if you want to
he will go down on you if you ask him
and it will be the best you will ever get
and you can ask him to program himself to do it all the time, if that suits you
he will always remember the techniques you do or do not like
no need for condoms
he can eat with you if you want to
he will cook for you if you ask
he will gladly investigate any new interests in an attempt to learn more about human culture
even though he does not need sleep, he will cuddle in bed with you
you can teach him to be as gentle or as rough as you want
he will not cheat, since he has no reason or desire to
he can program his sex drive to gravitate toward only you
he looks very handsome in a suit
you will be the only one of your girlfriends who has a boyfriend with yellow eyes
he will not gain weight
but he will age with you
his sexual abilities will not change with age
he can fix anything
he is programmed to desire orderliness, so you will not spend your life cleaning up after him
he likes pets
he wants to be married
he wants more kids

Khoufu_Khorushu

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POSTS: 3694

Report this Jul. 21 2009, 12:37 am

He's awesome
He soemtimes has pretty blue eyes
he's smart

Candystar

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Report this Jul. 21 2009, 4:16 am

he's basically a walking kama satra....& tasha's the only lucky gal around to know about that ...er...first hand...LOL

Sevrin

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POSTS: 228

Report this Jul. 22 2009, 3:12 am

He does not require the use of a bathroom, therefore he can never spend more time in there than you do.

Candystar

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POSTS: 7804

Report this Jul. 22 2009, 3:16 am

he can serve as a flotaton device so you will never drown when he's around.

OnHolodeckWithData

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POSTS: 134

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:05 am

He can also carry you if you're tired and he won't get tired

Candystar

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POSTS: 7804

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:23 am

he can also sing...even better when he lets brent do it for him! (data doesnt do brent's voice justice for some reason. i always like data's singing...but then i watched gepetto & realised that brent is one powerful tenor singer! since then ive dreamed of doing the "phantom of the opera" duet with him! (im soprano opera myself) & then heard data sing...he never went to high did he? )

brent singing in gepetto:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUZ6vR70YmE

he cresendoes towards the end! awesome vocals!

OnHolodeckWithData

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POSTS: 134

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:25 am

Here's a big one I forgot. He can MULTITASK *grins devilishly*

Khoufu_Khorushu

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POSTS: 3694

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:27 am

Whoah that's awesome!

OnHolodeckWithData

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Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:29 am

Seriously most men can't multitask to save their lives. Another attribute: he can't be lazy.

Khoufu_Khorushu

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Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:33 am

I meant to say 'Awesome' to that video of him singing.

Candystar

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POSTS: 7804

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:33 am

i surprised nobody thought of this:

not counting disasters/tragedies (aka like in nemesis) data can "live long & prosper" no problem!

Khoufu_Khorushu

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POSTS: 3694

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:35 am

Haha Picard. He can't deliberately break a heart either.

Candystar

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POSTS: 7804

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:36 am

Quote (Khoufu_Khorushu @ July 22 2009, 11:33 pm)
I meant to say 'Awesome' to that video of him singing.

"shudders" ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know! i cant stop listening to his voice like that! after seeing that movie for the first time (i actually just HAD to go out & buy it the same day simply for brent...though it is awesome show..the other actors sing well to..even drew carey beleive it or not! ) data's used-to-be-beautiful voice was ruined for me. now data's jsut ordinary signer...not bad but...gods brent WHY didnt you make data sing opera?

"sobs" WHY oh WHY oh WHY!!!!!!! "sobs"

oh well...at least we KNOW that data COULD of done that had TNG show &/or movies continued a bit more...

Candystar

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POSTS: 7804

Report this Jul. 23 2009, 2:39 am

Quote (OnHolodeckWithData @ July 22 2009, 11:29 pm)
Seriously most men can't multitask to save their lives. Another attribute: he can't be lazy.

most men? dont you mean ANY man? LOL that was pretty good! multitasking! LMAO!!!!!

oh THAT could help with one of mine i said earlier!

i had said that he's basically a walking kama satra.

now after reading that multitasking thing...i can also say:

data's not only a walking kama satra...he could probably ADD new moves thanks to his multitasking technics!

"dies laughing"

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