Star Trek Fanfic drabbles

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Report this Jul. 07 2009, 2:56 pm

these revolve around the premise of: What if Data went down to the planet, and ended up in the Nexus?

The first drabble is... a little rubbish. The second drabble though is the first proper data's version of the scenes...

Got one last word of the second to write, but kinda stuck. (TashaYar86 knows what I'm talking about)

Here's the first.

Quote

#1 - Disobey Orders
He beamed down from Transporter Room Five, at the exact moment that Captain Picard did.
This was the first time he was disobeying orders for the wrong reasons. He knew that.
Other times, it was for the right ones. Moral, Ethical, reasons. Professional reasons.
This was the first time, ever, that he disobeyed a direct order, for a personal one, and personal, only.
He somehow knew, without calculating the odds, that Captain Picard wouldn't succeed without help.
The last thing he saw, in that microsecond before being fully dematerialised, was the unconscious transporter technician twitch.
-
He was right. He watched, from behind a rock, as Soran spread his arms, hoping to enter the nexus again.
Captain Picard was nowhere to be seen, however. Soran had realised his error, when he saw Data, and in running, found the Captain, who had been trying to hide.
Data couldn't spare time for guilt, however, and he had tried his best, his ####ed best, to stop it.
But he failed to reach the missile in time.
Now, he had time for emotions. Shame. Guilt. Emotional pain. All threatened to shut him down.
He looked up at the Nexus, and an almost idle thought crossed his mind.
What if he could fix it?
But he could not enter the Nexus. He was not a life form, in the same way as Soran, Picard, Riker, Geordi, Deanna, Worf...
He surprised himself though, when his final thought finished off that list with, Tasha.
And that, was all it took. Thought fled his mind, and he acted on automatic, android instinct.
He stood straight, arms spread, staring into the white ribbon of the Nexus.
As the lightning bolts snaked around him, flashes of his life made themselves known. Times when he calculated how different a particular event would have gone had a certain crewmember not died, how it would have gone had he had his emotion chip all along...
Then, a bolt struck, and he knew no more.

OtakuJo

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Report this Jul. 07 2009, 10:35 pm

Your idea is an interesting one, and you have a good beginning here. What would really bring it to life for me as a reader (just a thought) would be to have a little more of Data's "voice" coming through the narrative.

alexmcpherson

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Report this Jul. 08 2009, 10:35 am

Fair 'nuff. Just something I was writing up and posting as I went along. Most of the stuff that I have posted (elsewhere) in the past were altered or re-written a few times before I stop applying the word 'draft' to them.

TashaYar86

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Report this Jul. 08 2009, 12:58 pm

U are good writer. Keep writing.

alexmcpherson

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Report this Jul. 08 2009, 1:06 pm

thx. just stuck on a name that fits with "Yar". Female name, that is.

OtakuJo

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Report this Jul. 08 2009, 7:34 pm

Quote (alexmcpherson @ July 08 2009, 10:35 am)

Same here! I wouldn't dream of posting a first draft for anyone to see. That's pretty brave in itself. Just an idea / suggestion if you were thinking of running with that some more that's one direction you might consider "running" in.

I really do like that idea of yours with Data in the nexus so looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

As for names, are you going with an original character here? You could run through two / three syllable names ~ I would suggest something ending with -a in this case because of Tasha and Asharra and it's not a bad idea to go with commonalities in the case of close or extended families sometimes.

If still stuck, baby name books can be surprisingly useful~!!

TashaYar86

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POSTS: 3588

Report this Jul. 09 2009, 5:36 am

Quote (alexmcpherson @ July 08 2009, 1:06 pm)

thx. just stuck on a name that fits with "Yar". Female name, that is.

Hmmm...It is indeed very hard to find a name that fits with Yar. Hmm.... Denise Yar Â¿ :laugh:

alexmcpherson

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Report this Jul. 09 2009, 2:26 pm

Sela Yar! Hehe!

TashaYar86

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Report this Jul. 10 2009, 5:20 am

Sela is nice name too. :laugh:

alexmcpherson

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Report this Jul. 10 2009, 10:09 am

But I'm trying to think of a name that Data and Tasha would like too... hint hint

TashaYar86

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Report this Jul. 10 2009, 12:41 pm

Dont ask me. I really dont know.

OtakuJo

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POSTS: 16220

Report this Jul. 10 2009, 7:57 pm

hmm... ok. Hopefully this may be halfway helpful.

I think in Data's case he would probably want to name his kid (this is a kid, right? ) after someone, or something with a degree of significance. Possibly a heroine from a classic novel or -- as in the case of La'l (icantspell) an unusual word in some other language... again, baby name books are so useful!

I can't suggest anything specific because you are writing this and so it has to be something that feels right to you on an instinctual level.

oh yeah and I forgot about Sela :laugh:

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