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Phrases that would never be uttered

2takesfrakes

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POSTS: 3683

Report this Aug. 29 2010, 6:24 pm

"Uhura, your opinion?"

Kesfan74656

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POSTS: 1119

Report this Aug. 29 2010, 9:00 pm

''The Trouble With Tribbles''..''Mister Sulu, prepare to set course away from the station''.....''Captain?''..''Yes, Uhura?''....''Commander Koloth is hailing us...''..''Really? Very well, put him on screen...''...''Kirk!!''(Koloth is grinning from ear to ear)''....I never imagined I would ever say this-but, thank you''...''OH?''...''Yes!! These, these TRIBBLES! What remarkable creatures!!(Holds one up to his ear. The comm picks up its loud cooing)''I have never felt so...PEACEFUL....how can we repay you for this remarkable gift!? I MUST learn where these creatures come from-so that we may bring more of them back to the Empire!!''.......


''If I were captain, i'd open every crack in the universe, and peek inside, just like Captain Janeway does''-Kes, ''The Cloud''

Gleekoid32

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POSTS: 702

Report this Aug. 30 2010, 3:59 pm

Kirk: Here's why I like you all. Spock, I like you because you're logical. Bones, I like you because you're honest, Scotty. I like you because you're a miracle worker and you're funny. Uhura, I like you because you're pretty. Christine, I like you because you're amazingly helpful toward Bones. Sulu, I like you because you're Sulu.


Chekov: You never mentioned my name captain?


Kirk: What? Oh yeah. That's because I hate you Chekov.


Chekov: Oh. (leaves his post and goes to the turbolift)


 


Mum to 3 boys, Jonathan Archer-8 Huey Martin and Trip Jonah, who sadly passed away in my tummy. RIP.

Gleekoid32

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POSTS: 702

Report this Aug. 30 2010, 4:15 pm

Kirk: Alright, the landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Chekov and Dr. McCoy. Scotty do us a favour and send down a security officer.


Redshirt: Oh s##t.


Kirk: Don't worry ensign, I'll take every precaution to make sure you don't die.


Redshirt: Oh, you'd better had you womanizing div!


Mum to 3 boys, Jonathan Archer-8 Huey Martin and Trip Jonah, who sadly passed away in my tummy. RIP.

WilburWood

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POSTS: 21509

Report this Aug. 30 2010, 4:44 pm

*never-before-seen footage from "Court Martial" before scene was re-written and re-shot*

Finney: Captain?
Kirk: I'm glad you're alive.
Finney: You mean you're relieved because you think your career is saved. Well, you're wrong.
Kirk: Ben! Ben, it's not too late. We can help you.
Finney: Like you helped me all along? Kept me down. Robbed me of my own command? I was your superior officer, Jim, and I was stepped over!
Kirk: That's the way Starfleet Command wanted it.
Finney: IT AIN'T THE WAY I WANTED IT! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says ... like dumb ... I'm SMART and I want RESPECT!!!

MORTAL, YOU HAVE EARNED THIS!!

Kesfan74656

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POSTS: 1119

Report this Aug. 30 2010, 5:24 pm

''THE CHANGELING''...Spock enters Engineering, where Scotty is working in a corner with a plasma torch and sheets of metal. ''Mister Scott..what are you constructing?''..''This? Well, it's a crib, cannae ye not see?'' ..''A..crib?''..''AYE! For the wee lad!''..''I do not follow, Mister Scott. There are no infants on the Enterprise''..''Oh, well, of course there is!''(Kirk enters, a beatific expression on his face)..''Captain?''...'Ah, Scotty-almost finished are we? Excellent! I'm already working on painting the nearest guest quarters to mine, so that Junior will have his own room, being it'll be too crowded in my quarters, of course....''...''Captain, if you will please pardon me, I am quite bemused...''...''WHY?I mean, I know it's not every day I have a son...''....''SON?''..(Kirk pulls out a photo)''Look!I just snapped this one an hour ago. Isn't he something?Chip off the old block!(Starts to tear up)''Why..he just called me..Daddy....and asked if I wanted him to sterilize anyone before I read him a technical manual for bedtime...I couldn't be prouder...my son...THE ULTIMATE ANNIHILATOR....


''If I were captain, i'd open every crack in the universe, and peek inside, just like Captain Janeway does''-Kes, ''The Cloud''

Gleekoid32

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POSTS: 702

Report this Aug. 31 2010, 5:37 am

Deleted scene from The Doomsday Machine


Kirk: And how is everybody today?


Bones: Can't complain, got a bit of the sniffles, but you can't cure the common...Holy smokes!


Kirk: What?


Bones: Holy crap Jim! It's the Death Star!!


Mum to 3 boys, Jonathan Archer-8 Huey Martin and Trip Jonah, who sadly passed away in my tummy. RIP.

WilburWood

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POSTS: 21509

Report this Sep. 02 2010, 5:30 pm

*never-before-seen footage from "Court Martial" before scene was re-written and re-shot*


Cogley: You Kirk?
Kirk: Yes. What is all this?
Cogley: I figure we'll be spending some time together, so I moved in.
Kirk: I hope I'm not crowding you.
Cogley: What's the matter? Don't you like books?
Kirk: Oh, I like them fine, but a computer takes less space.
Cogley: A computer, huh? I got one of these in my office. Contains all the precedents. The synthesis of all the great legal decisions written throughout time. I never use it.
Kirk: Why not?
Cogley: I've got my own system. Books, young man, books. Thousands of them. If time wasn't so important, I'd show you something. My library. Thousands of books.
Kirk: And what would be the point?
Cogley: This is where the law is. Not in that homogenised, pasteurised, synthesiser. Do you want to know the law, the ancient concepts in their own language, Learn the intent of the men who wrote them, from Moses to the tribunal of Alpha 3? Books.
Kirk: You have to be either an obsessive crackpot who's escaped from his keeper or Samuel T. Cogley, attorney at law.
Cogley: Right on both counts. Do you need a good lawyer?
Kirk: I need a good judge!


*they both laugh*


MORTAL, YOU HAVE EARNED THIS!!

JaydenJaneway

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POSTS: 1140

Report this Oct. 27 2010, 7:18 pm

may the force be with you. i hate that phrase

yarblis

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POSTS: 138

Report this Nov. 03 2010, 9:53 pm

Kirk-Not now honey,I've got a headache.


To Boldly Go

Roboto

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POSTS: 3883

Report this Nov. 04 2010, 6:03 pm


Kirk: "You know... I don't think I'm gonna sit here in this Captain's chair anymore... at least, not while I cross my legs. It brings out that dastardly inner tube around my gut." 


*Kirk pauses to squeeze the inner tube before shaking his head thoughtfully and getting up*


Kirk: "Mister Spock, from now on YOU will sit in the chair and I will stare into your computer."


Spock: "YES! Dangit, my feet hurt from standing up all day. It's about time I get that damn chair."


Kirk: "Ooooo... pretty... blue... light..."





KLINGONDOG

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POSTS: 533

Report this Nov. 04 2010, 6:28 pm

What do toilet paper and the Enterprise have in common T'pol ?

bortaS bIr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay'.

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