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Funny Lines

breenhottie

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 519

Report this Jan. 12 2008, 4:49 pm

I have been on a roll lately of watching some of the more-lighthearted episodes (I would have said 'funnier', but the bashers would have said they were all funny), so I thought we could list some of the lines that we tought were amusing.

Like:  "The station has us by the thrusters!"  I laughed out loud at that one.

Any others?

ENT567

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 14 2008, 4:18 am

Reed: Which one do you prefer?
Tucker: For what?
Reed: A tactical alert!
Tucker: They both sound like a bag full of cats!
----------
Archer: You're lucky you're a decent engineer, because you obviously don't know anything about writing!
Tucker: I'm not the only one!
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T'Pol: Optimism doesn't alter the laws of physics.
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Archer: Did you bring a phase-pistol?
Hoshi: I'll keep it under my pillow.
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[regarding the Vulcan High Command]
Archer: I wonder... if they'll believe that humans and Vulcans will be... swapping chromosomes one day.
T'Pol: They're more likely to believe in time travel.
----------
Tucker: A single ship on a dark planet? Maybe they're on their honeymoon.
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Tucker to T'Pol: Maybe you haven't had time to meditate. I don't know. But whatever's going on with you lately, I've had enough.
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Reed: I don't think I'm quite ready to have my molecules compressed into a data stream.
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[Upon waking up bound in a basement on Risa]
Tucker: You think this is my fault?
Reed: You were willing to follow two strange aliens into a basement.
Tucker: Gorgeous aliens. Don't forget they were gorgeous.
Reed: They were male.
Tucker: Not at first!
----------
Tucker: You know, your voice is tensing up. That's a dead giveaway.
T'Pol: I didn't know you were an expert in vocal inflections.
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T'Pol: It wasn't you, it was your clone, Sim told me.
Tucker: Sim?
T'Pol: He said he had feelings for me.
Tucker: He told you that?
T'Pol: Standing right there.
Tucker: What the hell was he doing in your room?
T'Pol: Your voice is tensing up.
Tucker: Now you're the vocal expert?
----------
Archer: You missed T'Pol's latest battle with chopsticks.
Tucker: Darn. Dinner and a show.
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Mayweather: I grew up on a J-class, a little smaller but the same basic design. And one thing I can tell you is that at warp one point eight, you've got a lot of time on your hands between ports. That's how my parents wound up with me.
T'Pol: Do you have any helpful information on this vessel beyond its recreational activities?
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Tucker: You're sorry. You brought me 16 light years just to watch you get married to someone you barely know.
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Archer: I believe someone once defined a compromise as a solution that neither side is happy with.
Shran: In that case, these talks have been extremely successful.
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Archer: When I used to dream about this mission, the last thing I envisioned was having a Vulcan onboard who continuously sucked the air out of the room.
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Tucker: I've absorbed enough delta rays to guarantee my grandchildren glow-in-the-dark.
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[on a 23rd century uniform]
Hoshi: These people had some strange ideas about uniforms.
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Tucker: How many warning shots do Vulcans usually fire?
Ambassador Soval: None.
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Archer: Houdini could get out of this.
T'Pol: Perhaps you should invite him on your next mission.
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Archer: Sometimes, she makes me angry enough, I want to shove her out of an airlock.
----------
Reed: The EV simulator at Lunaport. Or, as Starfleet trainees call it: the Vomitorium.
----------
Ambassador Soval to T'Pol: What is their fixation with our ears?

breenhottie

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 519

Report this Jan. 15 2008, 8:58 am

These are great, ENT567!  You missed one of my favorites, though:

Trip: If you don't get moving in the next five seconds, I'm gonna take out my phase pistol and shoot you in the ###!

ENT567

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 17 2008, 6:47 am

Thank you breenhottie, I tried to impress you :D
Here's some more:

T'Pol to an Orion slaver: I'm not for sale!
------------
Archer: Take your Vulcan cynicism and bury it with your repressed emotions.
------------
Hoshi: Maybe it's a log. What do you think?
Tucker: Beats me. Could be a laundry list... or instructions on how to conquer the universe?

ENT567

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 17 2008, 7:20 am

Super! :laugh:

breenhottie

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 519

Report this Jan. 17 2008, 9:22 am

These are all great!

Also from Fusion:
Trip: (attempting to explain football) They're not trying to kill the quarterback!

Shuttlepod One:
Malcolm: (upon hearing static from the comm) Is that just the universe laughing at us?
Trip: It can laugh all it wants, it's not getting any of our whisky!

ENT567

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 19 2008, 9:23 am

Quote (Yanks @ Jan. 17 2008, 8:03 am)
Perhaps the next step would have been to meet her holographic parents. If I'm not mistaken, on some planets that's a precursor to marriage.
That scene was really hilarious! Can you also quote what T'Pol said then to Tucker about "1st rule of a diplomat"?

rab24

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POSTS: 5385

Report this Jan. 19 2008, 12:15 pm

Proving Ground
Shran to Xindi: We're looking for a rare element...Archerite.

LTNT_MILL

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POSTS: 164

Report this Jan. 20 2008, 10:56 am

Just because a guy's in his underwear, you assume the worst!

Lucifer_

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POSTS: 12834

Report this Jan. 22 2008, 5:29 pm

Phlox: "It says...something about your maternal ancestor"

In a Mirror, Darkly part 2

ENT567

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POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 24 2008, 9:20 am

Quote
One of the first things a diplomat learns is not to stick his fingers where they don't belong.
Thank you Yanks!

breenhottie

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POSTS: 519

Report this Jan. 29 2008, 9:37 am

For those of us who remember the old Wendy's ads:

Dead Stop:
Trip: I don't think there's anybody back there.

ENT567

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POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 29 2008, 3:00 pm

I didn't see them :(  What were they about?

SFRabid

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POSTS: 91

Report this Jan. 29 2008, 4:16 pm

Now I remember. Someone is trying to get a special order burger but all the hamburgers keep coming out the same way. They finally say "I don't think there is anybody back there" talking about no real people in the kitchen.

ENT567

GROUP: Members

POSTS: 5267

Report this Jan. 30 2008, 3:59 am

Ah, now I get the humor, thank you!

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